What do you say about the reverse? I mean, I can see why an older man would want to date a younger woman - physically that is, but why would a year-old woman want to date a man 45 or more? I can totally understand why older men go for younger women. Time creates wisdom - but it also creates responsibilities and complications - mortgage, kids, career, etc. All of this makes dating more and more complex as we get older. Still, most of them fail miserably, for the exact same reasons that I think Penelope is suggesting. Men want much younger women, but rarely do much younger women want older men.
All I can suggest is to stay fit and take care of your body. When she's at her sexual peak you'll be almost sixty. It's perfectly possible for an older man to be sexually active, but taking care of yourself can only help matters. My husband is an older man. I always found him very sexy! From experience, after some time, the younger person will have fluctuating feelings about being with an older person.
At 25, they are still in some way maturing and gaining life experience. My rule of thumb is never date anyone younger than 30 years old. Don't be surprise if she at some point have reservations.
It happens. Especially if there is a big generation gap, things can be difficult in finding common ground. I dont find anything wrong with dating someone older, at 30 I had a relationship with a man who was 49, we had a mature emotional connection he was understanding, sincere and I liked it.
I felt cared for, respected, helped, listened too, given mature advise, secure, safe and many other things. Though, I was not attracted to him on a physical level there were many other advantages we both had and gained in the relationship.
He used to say he enjoys my company and he admires my outlook towards life as both of us were very different. Postdoc, I do too and I am also able to sustain friendships with older people than with people my age. I got married to someone 13 years elder to me, In the sense i sought something in him, i couldn't find it anywhere, even there after when it broke off because of so many issues, i tend to fall for someone elder again, and again.
I wouldn't precisely use the word "falling", rather i would say i felt emotionally bonded, easily understood by them. Now i am with someone younger. I really don't know what is missing. PostDoc, if it happened often then you were actually consciously choosing to be with older men.
When you date someone older and then you go back to date someone young like your age ofcourse you will have to feel a huge difference, maturity, experience and also emotional bonding. I would suggest that you work with what you feel comfortable with, and also consider your needs, its not possible to get the best of both worlds young and old. Per my experience, there are advantages of being with either of them and this depends on how you feel. Some older men are more affectionate, understanding and you feel secure with them and its not always about their 'ego'.
Young men, well I can say its a whole different world, I remember when I was with one man who was 32years and we had a fight over listening to reggae music in his car. He had played loud music for hours and I remember telling him I would not mind some quiet time. It resulted in a fight and him calling his sister to report me he said 'I cannot listen to music in my own car' and explained to his sister the current situation and how I am stopping him from enjoying reggae music.
Many of us get into relationships with people who subconsciously remind us of our parents and our desire is to put right in our partners, what was wrong with our parents. Johnny Nicks's recent blog posts: Empathy or Projection? My Own Issues.
I think they never reminded me of my parents. PostDOC, same thing, the man was not anything closer to my father or even reminded me of him, he was warm, available, talkative too, listened and would sometimes pull abit of humour, my father was and is alittle cold and distant, unavailable, acts busy, he will not pay much attention etc. Sarah, if you ask me, i haven't been able to find a man who was as affectionate as my dad was to me. Because i remember i lost him at 11, and i have a distant memory you can say, where i was all the times in his arms.
Its good if someone who is your spouse as good as your parents, but i really don't have an expectation deep within. Although i seek affection in a similar manner, while keeping in my mind that he is not my dad!. But yes we are build over the period of time, there are few things which keeps me deprived. It was a total fluke I met her at all. I was in a bar having a beer with a buddy and he left to go hit on the bartender at another place at 3pm in the afternoon.
This hot girl came and sat down alone when I was finishing my beer and ready to leave. I was on vacation and she wasnt working. At first I was just thinking of it as a hot piece of action. She had a boyfriend even. But the more we got to know eachother the more we realized that we're like carbon copies of eachother, we have a running joke that we're clones. We can complete eachothers sentences and anticipate eachothers thoughts.
I know. Weird seeing that there's a 12 year age gap. I've never been married, I have no kids, neither has she. I had actually written off ever getting a girlfriend ever again after 17 years of back to back serious relationships, I was just going to date until I met this girl.
I was seeing 9 girls and from the moment we met we were inseperable and I dropped the ball on all of them.
What has come up so far with the age gap is she is a bit concerned because she wants to be married with kids at 30 - at which time I'd be There's also probably a bit of niggling concern about what her family would think they are quite conservative although she hasn't aired it. Also what's come up is that I have had so many former serious girlfriends and that while 3 months is a long relationship for her she has only had 2 actual boyfriends thats more like 3 years for me.
When the subject of exes comes up she feels like its a one sided conversation because she doesnt have those kind of stories to tell. On the upside though, she has brought up to me that guys her age often just dont get it.
They wont shut up and listen when they need to, they have to prove that they're right, they are always pushing her for the serious relationship that she isnt ready for right now shes had four guys try to marry her and one guy try to get her pregnant against her wishes.
I was 24 when I met a year-old. We were both recently divorced. Yeah I got married at a young age. We connected on so many levels, but the reality was that eventually I knew I wanted to have a family. She had a year-old daughter, and after.
She says she feels more comfortable with me than with any other guy she's met. I dont push on her for even the label we're currently officially just "friends" but the way its going I think it's pretty well inevitable.
I think my relationship experiences pay off when I'm with her. I will wake her up gently and bring her coffee and already have breakfast on the make.
I was once that young woman, not long ago, actually. I was 20 and my boyfriend was I loved him but honestly, I got a lot of attention from men of all all ages and I have to admit, I liked older men because they come off as very "mature" but le. How Young is Too Young to Date? - Towards Data Science. im 25 yrs ojasjobz.com engaged to my sexy 42 year old guy,the wedding is in a few months,I have been with him for 30 months and it has been amazing,all relationships has its rough times but over all we never quit on each other I love him As much as he loves me and sexually he is fantastic,can't complain.
I will hold her hand when walking down the street and give her small neck kisses and PDA that is appropriate for the situation. Her young age pays off for me in that she is not yet jaded like many women in their 30s, she hasnt been burned badly by a lot of men yet. She sees things in a much simpler light; we slept in a tent in my backyard and watched the clouds and pointed out what we thought they looked like, I havent done anything like that in years.
She doesnt boss me around or tell me what to do, unless I'm out of line or its in jest. If it's party time she can keep up with me rather than beaking off about how I drink too much. Its been a month and it's been fabulous.
I hope that we get the label thing out of the way and just enjoy eachother, even if it does end up ending at one point or another because she wants to settle down and have kids and thinks I'm too old. If I am dating an older person and his way of complimenting me is with stuff like 'hot, sexy' to me the relationship might be just as good as over, because if I needed to hear such stuff then I would expect it from someone younger like 20year old's.
I have had "older" up to 22 yrs older and younger up to 15 yrs younger women over the years I'm now My advice to you is Everybody's different. Keep your body in shape no matter who you're dating, but younger women tend to have more energy This goes for outings and intimacy. Take charge, be decisive, but not bossy, she expects it. Don't talk down to her or act like you're smarter because you're older. There's going to be times when she seems a little immature, DON'T become her dad, just be a source of calm wisdom and offer your perspective when asked.
Allow her space to grow into the woman you need her to be We have been dating for 7 weeks. I separated 20 months ago from my wife of 23 years. I never imagined being with a woman 17 years my junior. Not that it was out of the question, it just never entered my mind that I would be with a woman much younger than myself. We enjoy each other very much. Moreso me than her at the moment I Love her and want to spend what time I have left in this life soley with her.
We have Many things in common, one of which, would be Very difficult to replicate. I have asked her if she has seen anyone else since we met and she told me no. That is reassuring, but I am very paranoid that she may toss me to the curb for another, possibly, younger guy. This inspires me. I met him when I was 21 and he was So reading through most of the replies kind of makes me sad of course.
We have so much in common and we have so much fun together. But I love the life I share with him. Reading through the comments makes me sad again when I think about surein 20 years I will be 43 and he will be Good luck to you and your man.
If both of you are clear about the most likely temporary nature of your relationship more power to you. Most relationships with a large age gap, whether the man or woman is older, tend not to last.
Eventually that age difference starts to matter. No one is immune to time. We get slower and less healthy. Things may be all fun and laughs now but when you turn 33 and start to think about the fact that he is 60 you may feel very differently about the relationship.
At that point you may decide an attractive and vibrant 40 year old better suits your lifestyle, but your current man may not want to let you go. Thank you very much. Thanks again. My relationship with kind of been bumy. This comment really bothers me. As if men can only agree or see relevance when their age group or kind is the exact type of men referenced.
They are willing to throw away long loving relationships with women for a night of lust. Men this age will chest and justify it like no other age group. Risking family life and hurting his partner. You have to beg these men to get std test because they act as if their fragile little ego is so offended by something they should do anyway. They have never dealt with adversity. The slightest hardship will result in a nervous breakdown and the woman will be stuck babying them back to their male privilege health.
They are fake cultured. They travel the globe and take Snapchat but know nothing of the culture or people that they visit other than to sound pseudo cultured. They think experimenting with drugs is a romantic activity.
No matter what socioeconomic class. Older men are men. They are decisive. They know how to open doors, let a woman relax, be sensitive when needed and string where it counts. Millennial men are ridiculous and also now highly feminized. I will pass! Material issues. Faster, easier, sex. I think you have a great point.
With im 40 and dating a 25 year old remarkable, rather
But I have to add older men are better in bed too. I was 23 and my ex was 36and yes he robbed the cruddle. He wanted to mold me to what he wantedthe only trouble there is, I did grow up. As for daddy issues. My dad was never around at my young age. I seriously had more fun with my ex. And the young shall grow. Write back when he is That made me roll my eyes a bit. Honestly, why go out with a much older man if you still have to work hard to please him!
Surely the pay off of going out with a much older man is that he is working very hard to please you!! So a 13 year age gap is a daddy issue? He was still in your age range! Alot of men dont even have wives or kids yet at that age or are just settling down He cant even be your daddy cause hes 12 or 13 yrs older than you. On another note most ppl over 45 shouldnt show much of an age difference so make that over Your spouse is still a young adult now so no need to worry about that now.
Youre both adults I think its a a little immature for a man over 28 to date a girl under 24 but its nothing that bad hes barely over 35 I know alot of immature guys in their late 20s and 30s that only date and hang around ppl in thier early 20s.
On the latter one of older seeking younger ad 6. And whose doing is that? And yes you can appreciate your dad. Even if it starts out that way, the youngin will grow and realize the folly of youth. Better make sure she has no financial assets to take care of herself. If you are very rich, she will still leave you and collect alimony. People can find others their own age to appreciate.
Unless you are a movie star or famous person, keep dreaming. Appreciation is not a reason to get married. We both care for each other,and we never talk about our age we just live life one day at a time. Does she have the opportunity to become everything she possibly can be in life while in a relationship with you? I am 31 and my guy is 48, I am a nurse and he is a CEO of a company. When we first met I never asked how much he made or cared. I felt drawn to him and he was so funny and fun.
The first night we met I ended up taking care of him because he had got really sick. He was really embarrassed, the following weekend we met up at a 4 day concert event where our love story began.
I usually get along better with people that are older due to my views and values in life. He is better in bed than ANY guy I have ever been with and he loves so passionately.
He is kind, sensitive, smart, caring, and fun! I appreciate this man and love him with all of my heart. I simply feel a deep connection to him and I know he feels the same way. We connect on an emotional level, a physical level, and a mental level. In life that is almost near impossible to find and there are people out there who never get to experience that with someone else.
I was lucky enough to find that someone for me. How well two people work together and understand one another. How that person brings out the best in you and wants the best for you. I could have a guy from many age groups. I go by what is right for me and for my guy.
We have ups and downs like anyone else. That is normal. We grow and learn along the way. Life is so short and we are not promised tomorrow. Others may and have that right to their own opinions.
Thanks for the interesting read. What about when he ends up in a nursing home, are you going to be his carer? Now we are both retired and we are closer than ever.
My own dad was affectionate with his 3 daughters but it was clear that my mom was his girl. That is what I got.
My ex left me for a 22 year md singer and dancer. He was I was shocked that he he married her. She had nothing to give him. She took my home belongings, had an Invitro baby. I never had closure.
May she have the dump of her life. Why are you mad at her and not him? The sense of entitlement this woman displayed was truly unbelievable. But noooo. The Other Woman to whom he could have lied to get her into bed is at fault. Ladies, sure get mad at the woman, too. The other woman is irrelevant to your anger. If this simple logic is not something you gals can get your arms around, no wonder there is so much dysfunction once a woman gets into a relationship.
Karmic: WOW is right. When did I ever say otherwise? Frankly, I blame both of them for their actions. Two people made a choice to betray their spouses and destroy two families. Now both have paid the price for that choice. She is now a single mother with no support and he wants to come home to me but that door is permanently closed. Those are some pretty snide assumptions you are making there, especially considering that I never said anything you could base those on in my comment.
She knew me and our young children. Our kids played together for crying out loud. She is a Narcissistic Gold Digger so, no, she was not some innocent victim that my husband lied to. I like your posts.
Im 40 and dating a 25 year old
Most women on this board vilify uncommitted men commitment phobes, man-children, narcissists, etc. The anger seems so disproportionate to the offender. So you took it upon yourself to inform us of how very deluded we all are without any background information.
I could pluck all kinds of things out of the ether and sound off on you for neglecting to mention them. Now see how silly that sounds? Ditto for the rest of us.
If you actually care how we feel about something just ask before you criticize, unless criticizing is really all you wanted to do in the first place. Please show me where I said that all men must commit to a woman. Forgive me for not expounding upon the topic to your satisfaction.
Only to vilify the other woman, when the MAN - who was in the relationship with you - should be one vilified. All three of you only mentioned all the details after I challenged what was written.
Oh, I vilified him in spades. Was I under some obligation to tell you every tiny detail right off the bat? Do you get to dictate what we share publicly and when?
Im 40 and dating a 25 year old the phrase
I took out the majority though admitted not all of my anger on HIM. There is no emotional investment in the woman. She is not someone the wife has a deep attachment to, therefore, it is easier to forgive the guy and blame the outside enemy.
Not condoning it, just considering why it might happen. You felt the relevant details was to name call the woman. I would have commented differently had you and Stephan and Sharon wrote with as much anger towards the man as towards the woman. Duh we can drop this now, right? Have fun. Mine left me for a younger woman as well, after putting us all through total hell for two decades with his drug addiction.
That puts a whole different spin on things. A man in his 40s or 50s is likely either married or divorced. Dude goes through a mid life crisis, leaves wife and kids for a younger POA who makes him feel all youthful again.
Too late sucker. No take backs! He stuck with her anyway for a while to avoid being alone but he did eventually dump her. I have to admit that it makes me quite happy to see that SHE is now a single mother too because she left her husband to steal mine. Karma is a beautiful thing!
I am 44 year old indian lady married to a man 52 year old from last 25 years we dont have childrens Can a 23 year old man marry a 40 year old woman? Im 37 my boyfriend is In other words, while the rule states that year-old women can feel comfortable dating year-old men, this does not reflect the social preferences and standards of women. Women in their 40s. Aug 02, I'm 26 but I'm like a 13 year old when it comes to dating/relationships, Relationships, 85 replies 32 year old man 42 year old woman., Relationships, replies Year 1 all rainbows & unicorns; Year 2 is hey get real, Year 3 is make it or break it, Relationships, 6 replies.
Walk a mile Derek, then come back and lecture me on my morality. My husband left me after 20 years of marriage to be with a 22 year oldHe is 57 years old. The longest, best romantic relationship I ever had was with a much older guy. All that said, we were very much in love and it felt like we were equals. I know that people looked at us and thought things - esp.
Well, not rank.
You wish im 40 and dating a 25 year old you
And, it turns out, in our lives. But we never talked about that stuff - we were just into each other and our work together. But it also feels like peace and happiness. I do know many successful May-December couples. The woman is most often the younger, but not always. Gotta get off the internet. My eHarmony guy is gonna call in a few. Not as exciting as Award Man, but very funny, nice.
Older guys: higher social value. I totally buy younger women going for older men. See it all the time. They only plan on being together for 15 years, give or take.
Basically a really long LTR or a planned mid-term marriage. Does anyone have a problem with this? He gets what he wants fantasies fulfilled, feels younger, arm candy, whateverand she gets what she wants that is, a comfortable life. Lance, the only problem is at 60, the old guy will not let the 43 year old go. Can she, yes she can but she has to be wise. I am 53 and am on friendly terms with several women in their 40s, who are keenly looking for someone to settle down with.
BUT there are plenty of women, desperately lonely, and will do almost everything to have someone love and care for them. There are many more 40 year old women than there are 40 year old men. In person as well as online. I have dated ages both ways. Someone who most people know of, Sandra Bullock, has just been voted most beautiful woman in the world in some poll and she is a beauty at 51, and another familiar face, Christie Brinkley is a total knockout at 61, but there are plenty of beauties of that age on match etc.
They have lots of experience and many good years ahead of them. I was married for 23 yrs before i found out my wife was cheating, I got divorced, then I met her, her family loves me. You want a young woman she wants a young man too. The younger men just want sex.
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You still look good and feel young, but the only men who want a real relationship with you are over Cause the person at a real loveing level alll you love about themyou watch their body age and them struggle to communicate and talk and it killllls you. Some people actually love the person and the traits that create them and didnt know the age or couldnt tell and then love is there so oh well and too late. I think people should be mindful on the younger and understand what you could be taking and be kind enough to say no.
And marry your own age or closer and form a relationship to love with someone your own age. Wish he would have pushed me away a to save aallll this death pain. He could have found someone his age. I love him. KNOW what I would. It was selfish. At 48, Is He willing to remarry for his second or third time and also have kids with you and form a happy family?! In the other side, Is he just using a young woman exploiting her prime youth for companionship but not committing in order to offer her a marriage and kids cause he will be a Grandfather instead.
I briefly - very briefly - dated a 50 year old. He just knocked my socks off. Do THEY jointly plan on being together for 15 years? Or does She? I ask because the VRD can live like Hef cialis, viagra. The grown-up events are very nice, and not something that a young guy can bring you to. My family background has made me naturally drawn toward older people friends and romantic interests alike. Perhaps the fact that guys closer to my age are finally maturing has something to do with it. And lastly, in regards to the sugar daddy or rich older man phenomeon.
Not necessarily the case. Financially though, I suspect I have far more assets. Though I also know more than a few young ladies with a thing for Sean Connery. I believe she is an animal lover.
These days a lot of women are holding onto their hotness. Prostitution is very quid pro quo, Vino. Would each have the same feelings if he were an old loser and she were a young ugly thing?
You were im 40 and dating a 25 year old sorry, that has
It is not normal to fall in love with someone who looks like your dad. But if he promises security, you might take him on the offer. I admit you might grow to care for such a person but chances are he chose the inexperienced girl to manipulate. When she grows up, game over. Some will even get you working 16 hours straight overnight hours whilst they sleep with their pot bellies hanging out. What does SHE offer? What other ways? Deathslayer writes yet another priceless post.
A choice quote or 2, so people can link over. You could have said, learn to play pool, take him to a sports game, or boating. There were a ton of things you could have done to be with your man and make him happy. But the only way all you women could define yourselves was as three holes and nothing else.
You are right. They are not that stupid. They just accept it as the cost of admission, like paying a membership fee to join a country club or a cover charge to enter a night club. Older women appreciate younger men for the same reasons older men appreciate younger women. Younger men are more likely to have a flat stomach and all their hair. Perhaps to get back to that time of life when sex and relationships were merely sport and conquests?
At any age. Is there an entertainment star you admire or did as a teen who is 12 or more yrs. If so, it might amuse you in the coming decades to see how well THEY age. How would being divorced with a kid appeal to younger women who are neither divorced nor have a kid? My husband was divorced with a kid when I met him. Love knows no stopping- I loved his little girl like the continuation of him. Selena Apr 8th at am 17 some men over 40 are quite rigid in their expectations and some of them are so bitter you wonder why they are dating in the first place.
Your email address will not be published. Don't subscribe All Replies to my comments Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. You can also subscribe without commenting. Firstly, thanks for all your advice and wisdom and your massively entertaining style. If you saw a woman who was about to drive off a cliff, would you tell her? You always did tell it like it is. He is smart, loving, funny, a perfect travel partner, and really wonderful. I have never been in such a lovely relationship.
I feel secure, cherished, and happy every day. I never stopped reading your books, and checked up on myself often. Working with Evan has helped me to really value myself and to be myself when I am dating.
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It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website. Share Join our conversation 1, Comments. Selena, great to hear you feel that way. I have to disagree with the statement about sex with men over 45 sucks. Calm down its ok. Thank you for sharing. I met a gentleman who is 58 and I am You story touched my heart. Very sweet Ashley!!!
Hi I wish I could have your attitude. How was it or is it? I love Harrison Ford! And Tommy Lee Jones!! What older man would you find attractive?
Studies I have read support a maximum 6 years either way being workable. Amen, sister. So the reality just needs to be accepted. And it is reality. Awesome post. Well said, my friend! But maybe because he is older hello loraine. Work on staying happy and improving your health and quality of life. Hello LorraineHang in there, and if you love this man, stick with it. Good luck with your decision YesI echo your thoughts.
I get married to SHARE my life and life experiences To do alonesky diving hiking kyacking Then ill be widow at an older age and die with out that grow old togther cause he already died quite a bit before I was close to aging in. Just to loose your true love so quick I was a cna geriatrics and am concerned of our future to where he married his future caretaker and ill be left screwed with angry underpaid.
Ive seen sooo many mourn the death of spousesand now I get to out live by 20 thats honestly a lot but not at all, to restart a relationship, life and identify and the quality of life in those later years my goodness.
Just to loose your true love so quick I was a cna geriatrics and am concerned of our future to where he married his future caretaker and ill be left screwed. Personally, Do allllll the younger people a favor thats more than years difference.