I love writing about relationships, love, romance, and flirting. I hope you find the advice in my articles useful. How does one become an alpha male? It's a question many men out there ask all the time. In this article, I will show you the characteristics and personality traits of an alpha male.
Not judge others too harshly or be insulting. Be able to stand up for himself and his needs. Recognize signs of narcissism and arrogance. Sometimes it can be easy to mix up the signs of confidence and of arrogance.
However, the key difference between the two is that a healthy, confident man will be comfortable in himself and will not be easily shaken or angered. An arrogant person, however, gets his self-esteem from how others treat him, which makes him more likely to be demanding, domineering, and unable to listen to criticism.
Avoid men who:  X Research source Insult others in order to feel good. Cannot handle loss or criticism. Demand attention and praise. Speak over others or interrupt during social situations. Ask him to plan your next date.
If you are attracted to leadership and strength, consider asking him to plan out your next date to surprise you. See what happens when he takes charge over your next encounter.
This is also a good chance to see whether you both are interested in similar activities. Consider asking him to lead in the bedroom.
If you are sexually attracted to dominant scenarios, let him know that you are interested in having him act in a more dominant way in the bedroom. It is important that you do this safely: be sure that you both communicate clearly about your desires and limitations and that both partners consent each step of the way. Make sure that either partner can stop the sexual activity at any point by using an agreed-upon "safe word.
Participate in competitive activities while dating. If you and your partner are both confident, competitive people, find dates that allow you both to compete and act as rivals to one another.
This can lead to excitement and sexual attraction. Be sure that you try your hardest do not lose intentionallyand feel free to engage in some good-natured ribbing when you are winning. Some dates you might go on include: Playing paintball or laser-tag Going mini-golfing Participating in a charity race Playing a board game that requires skill, such as chess Be sure that your date is not a sore loser.
Have alpha male behavior dating consider, that you
If he has a tough time being on the losing side, that is an indication that he is arrogant, not confident. Explore new activities and places. If you have found a confident man, it is likely that he will be able to introduce you to new experiences, ideas, and places. Try to enjoy exploring these new worlds with him, and perhaps you might discover a new passion or hobby yourself.
Watch out for controlling behavior. If you find yourself stifling your own opinions, ideas, and thoughts, you are likely in a relationship that is based on control instead of on confidence and trust. Never lose yourself in a relationship: a healthy dating relationship is based on mutual caretaking and making each other thrive.
If your partner is not helping you thrive, he is likely not a confident person at all, but rather a controlling, domineering person. Signs of controlling behavior include:  X Research source Lying Bullying Talking over you or talking too much Distancing you from your loved ones Giving you the silent treatment.
Method 2 of Do not act overly submissive during disagreements. Someone who shares traits with the stereotypical "alpha male" might occasionally act stubborn, impatient, and demanding, especially during quarrels. Instead, remain calm and analytical as you state your case. Walk away from the argument if you need to, but do not flatter, pander, or give in too easily. Let's continue talking about this tomorrow.
But here are the reasons why I think I'm right. It is important that you are willing to compromise if I am going to compromise too. Do not accept aggressive behavior. Be careful if he acts aggressively by breaking things, making threats, or frequently raising his voice to the point that you end up in tears.
This is not acceptable behavior, and you deserve better. Let him know that his actions are unacceptable, and seek help outside of the relationship from a friend, the authorities, or a domestic abuse hotline.
Create a generally egalitarian relationship. In general, people are happy in relationships when there is an egalitarian power structure. In this case, both partners might share chores, have equal say over important decisions, and might both work outside of the home. Find healthy ways to explore dominance and submission, especially in the bedroom and in chores.
While egalitarian relationships are the most successful in the long run, they might also reduce libido and sexual passion. Be sure to discuss your preferences and limitations in advance, and make sure that you can stop the role-play at any time by using a "safe-word. For example, a woman might dress up in traditional feminine outfits; a man might dress up in athletic clothing.
If you are a woman in a heterosexual relationship, consider taking on some stereotypically feminine labor, such as cooking or washing dishes. Ask your partner to take on stereotypically masculine labor, such as repairing the car. Act nonchalant and continue doing whatever you are doing as you say it. You don't expect an alpha male to be unhealthy, nor do you expect him to be unfit.
Not everyone can have a body like Brad Pitt in Troybut the key to pulling off the physical ct of becoming an alpha male is to be fit. Find the motivation to build your body by working out. The answer does not lie in having a massive frame like Schwarzenegger or Coleman, but to have a fit body, worthy of grabbing attention.
Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites. Thanks a lot for sharing all that knowledge with us. It means a lot to me. From now om I will be in control of my life. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages and Hubbers authors may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.
HubPages Inc, a part of Maven Inc. As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, pairedlife. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so. Alpha males are not aggressive: Don't be a jerk Unlike the popularly perceived image of an alpha male, he is not aggressive at all. They are leaders: Don't wait to be led There is a reason why alpha males are called leaders of the pack.
Alpha males speak less but pack a punch when they do: Develop solid communication skills Restraint, relevance, speed, emphasis, clarity, and pitch, these are some important elements of communication that alpha males are likely to be masters of.
Alpha male behavior dating
Alpha males have a towering presence: Be charismatic Alpha male personalities are likely to create a stir in a room by their mere presence or entry. They are decision-makers: Groom the habit of making good decisions Whether it is at the workplace, at home, in social circles, or in bed, alpha males don't like waiting for instructions or intimation from anyone.
Alpha males are not overly expressive all the time: Carry a straight face Facially and emotionally, alpha males are not known to be very expressive. They look out for their comrades: Be a problem solver A great quality of alpha males is that they look out for their herd. They command respect: Don't demand respect Whether it is out of sheer appreciation or out of fear, people generally respect the alpha male of their pack.
Alpha males never panic: Stop giving knee jerk reactions One of the most characteristic traits of alpha males is that they can act calm and composed even if they are neck-deep in crisis. Alpha males know what they want, and get it: Be focused Whether it is something as personal as deciding whether to kiss a girl or something as professional as demanding a pay rise, alpha males have a clear idea of what they desire.
They know how to say no: Don't be too nice to everyone Why do people give in to do things that they hate doing? Alpha males don't keep asking for help unless necessary: Do it yourself You may never find a man with the personality traits of an alpha male asking around for help unless absolutely necessary. Alpha males know the art of romance: Be a true gentleman with your girl Whether it is opening doors for your date, arriving for a romantic outing with a bunch of flowers, knowing how to kiss a girl, or simply knowing how to turn a woman on, alpha males are true romantics, or at least they show themselves as being one.
They don't need approval: Don't keep asking everyone for their opinion If you were shopping with a friend and just tried on a shirt, would you ask "Isn't this a great shirt? Alpha males wear normal clothes that accentuate masculinity: Don't make odd fashion choices The trick to dressing like an alpha male is not to look overtly muscular and tough but to look masculine and taut.
Alpha males are not typically social butterflies: Be passively social Can you imagine an alpha male muttering, giggling, and yapping away in a social situation? They can make people laugh: Develop a sense of humor By rule of thumb, alpha males do not make flippant, petty, or poorly humored jokes to amuse people or gain attention.
Alpha males are strong: Exercise your way to being fit You don't expect an alpha male to be unhealthy, nor do you expect him to be unfit. Mind numbing bs.
Remarkable, alpha male behavior dating and
No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. Some articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. Machismo has nothing to do with being an alpha nor does superiority. They will, however, take on injustice in the world especially if they see women being abused. They are the men I love most.
Mine waited nearly a decade for me to let him out of the brother zone and make up my mind. Due to the timing, we are in a long distance relationship with neither of us able to move right now thanks to very specific circumstances and haven't seen one another since we were teens. Seriously, take away the technology we have today and we'd be the ultimate romance story from the s. It's nice to see an article that at least covers the basics of what being an alpha is about, be you a man or a woman.
Thank you! Wow, thank you so much for your inspiring comment. I really connected with it. I'm in a similar situation with a female friend that I've known for years But hearing your story confirms for me what kind of man I want to be and gives me hope not to give up on the woman in my life either.
While my man is very private by nature and for his sake I won't go into the exact details of his pained past, I will tell you that while he went through that pained past I was the one from our school days who never ghosted on him, told it to him straight, and stayed up for hours when he needed someone most. We've been in one another's corners since we were 12 years old because we began as best friends who later established a chosen siblinghood.
Even though we saw one another at our worst - for I was in the midst of chronic depression minus mania that hit a point where my campus doctor told me, "Here is my cell number and my pager number. If you ever lose your sex drive, contact me immediately because you will be at the suicide stage" - we still held one another up and it's because of one another that we managed to keep going.
After enduring our personal hells, he tried to get out of the brother zone on more than one occasion only to be politely refused. He had a VIP seat to every relationship that I went through as my personal relationship coach. He could honestly make a ton of money off of helping women with their relationships if he wanted to because his advice is truly insightful.
He picked up the pieces every single time and he waited. In hindsight, we were in an open relationship all those years. I simply refused to accept it the why is another story.
Though about miles separates us right now, I draw on his masculinity and he draws on my femininity for strength when our lives are driving us nuts or we need reassurance that we are doing the right thing. We also consistently rise above adversity by learning from it and choosing to better ourselves through it instead of becoming bitter and petty because life isn't fair. I'm proud of you, David, for striving to be a better man.
The best advice I can give you is to know yourself. That doesn't mean you will always know what you want in life. It does mean that you will know what you are capable of handling and what you definitely do not want in life.
I'll use myself as an example. I'm on the other side of 25, nearing 30, and a virgin by choice. Based on how guys react to me, I could easily hook up with anyone I pleased. So why don't I? Because I know myself. I have no desire to get caught in the following situations: 1 emotional guilt and shame when a guy ghosts or breaks up with me 2 increased depth of emotion and connection when I am already a very intense, emotional woman who connects with men deeply 3 having the 3am boil over that stems from, "if I pushed her to sleep with me, then who else got there before me?
If they want to go out and have loads of sex, that's their business. Personally, I don't feel the need or desire to have sex in an attempt to fulfill myself.
My self-confidence, self-love, and extreme comfort in who I am as a woman means that I fulfill myself without needing a man. There's a difference between needing and wanting a man. I've never gone looking out of need, only out of want. I find life is richer with a man who compliments me as a woman and visa versa.
My man has known my rationale for remaining a virgin for many years. Even though he would love to engage in sex with me, he decided that no matter how much I might want it I'm going to get it until married because he wants our relationship to remain harmonious and free of guilt.
While I don't know your specific relationship with said woman, David, I will leave you with a warning because I don't want you going through what I endured for four years previous to accepting that my best friend and chosen brother was the man for me. Beware becoming the Invisible Man. If she is coming to you for love and support and jokes around with you, then you still have a chance; especially if she is worried about ever hurting you because she loves you and wants the very best for you.
However, if she gives you little to no attention in return, doesn't return texts and calls, doesn't comment on your facebook posts, and basically ignores you, you may want to consider moving on.
I don't know the particulars of your situation beyond distance, but I know what it feels like to be stuck in unrequited love. It's one of the most difficult feelings for an alpha to endure, but it needed to happen for me to be where I am now for private reasons. After he terminated contact, I cried, got angry though, I've got to give him total credit for breaking contact properly and kindlyand left that toxic situation with my head held high and didn't look back because I felt free.
The moral here is listen to the warning signs and choose to either pursue or look for another. I didn't go looking for another during that time and should have - it would have minimalized my pain even further - whereas my love did go looking for other women but never entered into serious relationships with any of them because they didn't meet the bar I'd set somewhere along the way.
I'm glad to hear that my insights have helped you. Just be careful, okay? I don't want you getting hurt. So can a alpha man be faithful? That is my big question. I made one like me a lot and when i meet him i always have the feeling that such a man needs more than one woman or at least one very powerful woman. Like, he is tall and very hard on the outside and is head of his department and stuff. I managed to become very strong because i wanted to get away from the bad people in my life but I feel like this isn't my normal energy.
I'm rather sensitive and agreeable. At the moment I feel like everything would be fine but I just don't have his bodily and psychic strength.
Being an alpha male is pretty simple. You essentially have to believe in yourself and go after what you want in life and with women. When life gets tough or you encounter a challenging situation, you will be considered an alpha male if you remain strong and keep pushing forward to victory or to an alternative solution that gets you to a place that you're happy with. Dating an alpha male is an interesting experience, and a pretty different one than you'll get with other types of guys out there. He's strong, confident, and a natural leader. He stands out without trying, and sometimes can seem a little full of himself. He can also be a . Sep 21, Alpha males are driven by their needs, passion, wishes, goals and dreams. They are selfish at times and they don't let women prevent them from doing what they want. Anyway, if you believe an alpha male is an ideal partner for you, here are a few surefire ways to figure out if you are dating an alpha male. 1. He's confident when speakingAuthor: Diana White.
Have any of you hard alphas ever dated a sensitive woman and what did she do to keep up except from being physically attractive, this is hella boring! Thanks for answers, they're very appreciated!
You are missing it. Real Alpha gets it. Please understand. I never beat up a guy in front of his girl just for the sake of doing it or to try to look cool at the other guy's expense.
I only did after HE had tried to be vicious and venomous to ME in front of the girl to try and glorify himself at the expense of someone he did not realize could beat his ass. HE was the one being callous and malicious. He simply got what he had coming, man. I understand what Real Alpha is saying, and he genuinely understood what I was initially saying. Many times in real life the way he describes it is exactly how it goes down. You're right that the guys who do this sort of aggressive and confrontational thing to others are not true alphas.
I get it. If he gets his ass kicked when he's got it coming then 1 he got what he deserved and 2 perhaps he'll think twice before attempting to abuse the next decent, well-meaning guy.
You don't just walk away from that kind of uojasjobz.comovoked mistreatment of yourself and your girl. At the point where the asshole takes it to that level he gets whatever he gets.
Real alpha did not ASK for this guy's rabid and heartless bullshit. If the guy gets his ass kicked after doing that to a decent, friendly and well-meaning man and his girl he deserves it.
Real Alpha kept his cool and that's admirable. But, in my opinion he'd have had every right to have laid this asshole out in the street. I'm glad I came upon this site again so that I could clarify what I was saying at the onset. It is regrettable, but there are a lot of heartless and abusive guys out there who don't understand anything short of getting their asses beat. I would prefer that not be the case but it just plain is the case many times in real life.
Fair enough. And I already told you, I even agree with you on some points.
If they leave you no other choice, kick their ass. But try to understand my perspective as well. When I say that you can, in fact, walk away from some encounters and that I have actually done it then why use violence? The point I try to get across is that you're not any less of a man if you can walk away from such people.
No matter what they call you, why would something like that affect you in any way? You already know that you can beat them up, why ruin your night by fighting them? You don't like the term "alpha male" so I use your definition "real man" here. Why would a real man need to demonstrate his dominance over someone who is basically a pathetic loser by beating them up?
You laugh at his attempts to intimidate you and walk away again, done that. If his response to this is to "come at you" then you knock him out. But not before he gives you a real reason.
But what you're doing right now is encouraging people to fight such idiots. You basically said that you're not a real man unless you kick a guy's ass who is threatening you. Not everyone has your kind of skillset, so it's likely they get their ass handed to them.
Only after a couple of sparring rounds, did I realize that I couldn't fight for shit. But if you come here with your talk about how real men beat up such guys, you are basically encouraging random guys who don't know how to fight, but think they can to fight some random idiots because they think that this is the definition of a real man.
Commit error. alpha male behavior dating will
You, of all people, should know that the results might not be as positive as with your encounters. Also, have you ever thought about what's going to happen if you by accident kill the other guy? As you know, if you fight on the streets, you're not in a controlled environment. What if you hit him so hard that he falls down and hits his head on the side of the curb? There have actually been guys killed this way.
Your excuse that he used some nasty words ain't gonna cut it in front of a judge. Of course, there are million other things that can go wrong. What I'm trying to say here is that you're taking a huge risk by getting into a fist fight in the first place with some random asshole just because he insulted you when you actually could have walked away. The guy threatening Real Alpha was a pathetic loser. Why should he fight with such a guy?
To prove his manliness to his woman? No, women don't care about that! Unless he is a complete wimp, he has nothing to prove to her. Do you really think that she would just dump him because some random asshole abused him with words and he refused to fight? Most likely he would just have ruined her night by fighting yes, even if he'd won. Also, in no way did the guy mistreat his girlfriend judging by his descriptionunless you count a compliment as some weird way of mistreatment.
I don't condemn RAs actions. The only thing that got a beating was his ego, but he's probably going to be okay I hope.
If he learns to ignore the other guys completely, his gf will be even more impressed by him. My message to you and RA is this: if words not actions are the reason why you feel justified to hit someone, then you have a lot of soul searching to do.
Trying to avoid a fight is always the best option. And I know exactly where you both are coming from. I've been in a couple of street fights myself to protect my friends. And I have been threatened by countless guys.
But you know what? Since I don't give a shit about their threats, I just go on about enjoying my night. AND because they know that they can't intimidate me, they don't have the balls to do anything to me.
I allowed your comment, but I won't do it again because it has nothing to do with the topic of the article. You'll get a notification to the email address you provided, IF you want to discuss this topic further, please send a message to the address that you'll see after "Report Abuse to:" in the footer section.
I just have to share how happy I am with my Alpha husband!! We got married in September. Recently he had a hard talk with me about how mean I was being to him. Calling him names and disrespecting him.
Are mistaken. alpha male behavior dating something is. Clearly
That was the norm in our 4 year relationship. He was harsh, honest, real and compassionate in this conversation. I accepted what he told me. I let myself be vulnerable and I dealt with my reactions and self soothed.
I had not been doing that before. The results have been tremendous!!! I respect him so much. Side note: My friend who's also an Alfa Male told me that Respect is more intimate than sex. I now deal with my reactions. I don't rely on him anymore to make me feel better. I am now reliably loving, encouraging and understanding with him. He has given me so much in return.
So much unconditional love, tenderness and connection. Our sex is electric like it used to be when we first started dating. We also have productive discussions and clear, easy communication. I have been more strait forward with him. It's been a dream. I've also been on a journey of self love and connection to spirit. This was really the foundation for me to make these changes in our relationship. I cant stress enough how important it is to be strong in yourself when being a part of a relationship.
And this is not something you can get by not having when you are in a relationship with an Alpha Male. Much respect to Alpha Males! Thank you for teaching us all to have a healthy relationship to masculine energy.
Hey Colleen, I'm seeking advice! You seem to be a rather "spiritual" woman.
Me too. I have turned the head of one of those hard guys though he's somewhat still in his juvenile shoes or so. How is it dating one? Is it really like you stay in the cave all day and he comes home and provides? It's kinda a thing I don't think very appealing to me. Or is it rather you both are achievers? I want to have a great life and I'm not sure if an alpha is a good choice for a woman that dreams big.
I know I'm not Colleen, but I am an alpha woman in a solid, loving, committed relationship with an alpha man. Every alpha man in my life, of which there are many, love women who dream big and actively strive to make their dreams reality. You see because they are alpha men they don't feel threatened by independent women with their own dreams and desires in life. If anything, if a man is truly an alpha he will aspire to help you achieve your dream rather than squash it or ensure you can't attain it because you make him feel insecure or inferior.
At the same time, you need to actively support him in his dreams because relationships go both ways. As a writer, I will work from home creating while he works outside the home. As he once told me, "I build the flower box and you make it pretty.
Alpha Male Strategies 10 Dating Commandments
He understands I'm in a very cutthroat career, he wants me to succeed, and isn't threatened that my dreams will emasculate him in the event he needs to wear the apron in the relationship at times. If you're a woman with big dreams and aspirations, then finding yourself a true alpha is the only way to go. Anyone less than a true alpha will be threatened by you. And what does the "alpha male" do when he gets his ass kicked in the parking lot in front of his so-called wife or girlfriend?
All this is bullshit. So-called "alpha males" get dumped all the time after the initial stages wear off. They're the biggest candy asses going when they get dumped because they think they're so great and are astounded when the girl tells them to take a friggin' hike.
The first time a regular guy stands up to them in front of the female and they don't hammer the guy - that's the first day of the progression to the end of the relationship. The female's image of the "alpha male" always fades big-time after awhile. Most of these dudes are all show and no balls. I used to fight in the ring and, when forced, on the street. I have kicked the living hell out of more of these kinds of guys than I can remember.
He don't look too "alpha" when he's KO'd in the street. These guys are often secretly very insecure as they attempt to give off the impression of this "alpha male" bullshit. Girls dump them all the time, man. I'm older now, but I'll tell you what I learned in my youth.
There are "alpha males" and then there are the actual MEN that kick the shit out of the "alpha males" - after the thinks-he's-great "alpha male" runs into the wrong friggin' country boy. Wow, there is a lot of butthurt coming from this comment. Did someone hurt your feelings so you had to come here to vent? Did some girl dump you because of an alpha male?
You do know that kicking the shit out of someone doesn't make you "an actual MAN", right?
And bragging about it just makes you pathetic. Getting into a fistfight with someone is what normal people try to avoid, only idiots who think it's a sign of a manliness constantly get into fights they're the most insecure people ever! Also, if you really have fought in the ring before, you're a disgrace if you go around beating up people who don't have your skills.
Real fighters don't go around picking fights with strangers. They know that they can do some real damage to another person and instead of beating them into a bloody pulp, try to de-escalate a situation peacefully. Fighting someone should be the last resort, not something "actual MEN" do! Looks like with age, you have learned nothing. You have just become more of an insecure, bitter ass who instead of using his brain to solve problems, uses his fists.
Good luck, you really need it! But I do agree with you on one thing. Guys who run around calling themselves "alpha" really aren't alpha. Read my comment, pal. I clearly state I fought on the street when I was forced to do so.
Alpha Male Example. If you're reading my blog, then you should be out building your social circle on the regular. This is one of the most important habits for men to have, and it will change your life in ways you can't even imagine. If you've been going out to various night clubs, bars, and other social venues, then I guarantee there's something that you've seen a large number of times. Is it true that most women like alpha males? .
I tried to diffuse confrontational situations with courtesy and diplomacy. That, however, just makes most violent psychopaths take one's attempts at kindness and diplomacy as a sign of weakness. Only then did they get their asses kicked. Yeah, you're right, normal people try to avoid it. However, if you've got any actual life or street smarts you realize that it cannot always be avoided because there are a lot of vicious, venomous people out in real life - who only understand physical pain and dominance.
I thought you were an "alpha male" and yet you don't understand this?