Ross and Rachel: cute but not intellectually compatible. But for some reason, the idea of intellectual compatibility has been rolling around in my mind for a while. What is intellectual compatibility? Is it important to date someone on your intellectual level? If so, how does that look? I have a saying: Chemistry gets a relationship started, but Compatibility keeps it going. As I talk about in my books , compatibility is necessary for a strong relationship that lasts.
Consider where you fall on this spectrum. And avoid being judgmental; not everyone is a philosopher and not everyone needs to be. Intellectual Badass series. I love both. Great article Christie. Thanks, Nate. I read Sex at Dawn some years ago and thought it was great. So well researched and interesting. I thought you did a pretty good job too, especially with making a distinction between that and intelligence.
Not everyone who is smart shares an interest in the same subjects or in analyzing things to death. I think it goes further down to just compatibility.
The Truth About Compatibility Expert opinions on love and compatibility, and the interaction between biology and behavior. By Hara Estroff Marano, Carlin Flora, published September 1, - last. Sep 19, For my husband and me, exploring our intellectual compatibility was a big part of our dating relationship. Aside from being attracted to one another and sharing the same values, we wanted to know that we could daydream together and have shared pursuits. Sep 23, How important is intellectual compatibility to you? If you find yourself questioning the relationship because you don't have much to say to each other, there could be a problem. If you want someone whose interests align with your own, and you find yourself unhappy in relationships that don't provide this, then you should think about moving on.
Do people want to talk about and do what you want to do? Do you feel heard and understood by the other person? Thanks, Steve. I totally agree with your last statement. Everyone has a different degree of intellectualism and in different ways. And intelligence not as easy to identify as many people think. I spent four years in that type of environment and I felt pain in every poor axon of every poor neuron of my little brain Luckily, my surreptitiously reading books on my iPhone at night brought an end to the relationship so I survived and learned my lesson:.
Are not dating intellectual compatibility will not prompt
Bobby, I used to agree with you that an emotional bond, compatibility shared goals were more important than intellectual compatibility. In fact, at age 30 I met my future husband and we committed because of our shared optimism toward life, our fun spirits, and I was impressed by his emotional availability. I have two master degrees from Ivy League schools and he has a high school diploma and then went to cooking school, but I had more fun with him than I did with intellectual men.
Now we are separated 15 years later. I love what a nice fellow he is and how kind-hearted and fun he is. We do love each other and have never been unfaithful, but this intellectual compatibility is truly putting our marriage at risk now, at least on my end. It is sad. One of them is a meteorologist. In his spare time he runs a web site where he wrote programs to analyze weather data.
He is also an ex-NFL football player. The rest of his spare time is spent lifting weights, watching football, and superhero movies. Great guy, one of the easiest people to be friends with. I think it is more accurate to say we have different interests. I have another coworker who spends his spare time going to art museums and listening to classical music.
He is always encouraging me to expand my horizons.
Doubtful. dating intellectual compatibility similar
I did those things when I was younger and am not interested in them anymore. I am very much into Eastern philosophy and understand sublime things he does not.
Intellectual Compatibility. Intellectual compatibility is two people who respect each other's intelligence. They share and are stimulated by each others ideas and/or shared intellectual interests. love marriage soul mate dating soulmate Lasting Love. The secret to finding a compatible partner. Intellectual compatibility, in particular, refers to the harmonious sharing of thoughts, ideas and opinions. People in a given relationship aren't required to have matching or even similar IQs in order to be intellectually compatible.
Yes, I guess I look down upon him too. The term just has a connotation of someone not being as intelligent or having an active mind. Look at trump. Not everyone with a brain is materially driven.
Dating intellectual compatibility
I think that for me, this may just be the most critical component in whether I am attracted to someone and it often gets overlooked. Thank you for taking the time to write about it. I have broken off relationships or not started them when I sense that I am more intellectual than a potential date. Unlike Bobby I think a person can become more physically attractive because of the interactions that occur. Ultimately this may lead to a deeper connection. Beauty fades but dumb is forever. There are many intelligent people who are not very intellectual, but it is not possible to be truly intellectual without being intelligent.
Therefore very intellectual people will always be in minority, which has impact on their social and dating life.
There is some snobbery about intellectuallism, but there is also not a little anti-intellectualism, which is at least equally bad. Some people find me overly intellectual so I have to censor myself sometimes when I talk to them. On the other hand, it is sometimes liberating to share my intellectual side with people who appreciate it and find it interesting and not boring and annoying but, of course, I am not always intellectual and I have also non-intellectual friends.
Just for fun, I developed a hypothesis: People say that the strongest aphrodisiac for women is power. Philosophers say that knowledge is power. Logical implication is that men with rich knowledge including nerds and IBs of all kind should be among the most sexy men.
Thanks, his-saltiness! I think that your percentage is sadly pretty true, but I think that it would jump dramatically in our favor if we stopped spending months and years with incompatible people!
Very, very well laid out.
I mostly agree with it wholeheartedly. If one could only speed-date different potential mates every single night with a questionnaire based on these pillars until the partner were found maybe there would be a chance in hell for the lot of us.
I remember once being told I was incompatible with someone and realized that I had never considered the idea of compatibility. Oh, the heartache that could've been saved!
Very well laid out. Many don't understand how important compatibility is until much damage is done to the relationship. I'll be sharing this one. Thanks so much, eHealer!
Jul 08, John M. Grohol, Psy.D. Dr. John Grohol is the founder and Editor-in-Chief of Psych Central. He is a psychologist, author, researcher, and expert . Jun 17, Intellectual Compatibility Deep discussions aren't necessarily an indicator of intellectual compatibility (though they can be for people who enjoy them). Intellectual compatibility pertains to whether a couple has similar education levels and interests. Apr 07, If you're tired of "flame out" relationships that start great and then go to shit, chances are you aren't dating people you're compatible with. As I talk about in my books, compatibility is necessary for a strong relationship that lasts. But what does intellectual compatibility entail?
I'm afraid the idea isn't my own, but it's one that made profound changes in my life for the better. Jelly, this is fascinating! I love this hub the best now, you really have out done yourself! This makes so much sense, and explains a lot about relationships. Well done!
Pinned and Facebooked! Thanks Christy! I found it to be useful for evaluating relationships and thought others might, too.
Glad to see it may!
The pillars sound like smart ways to be able to look at one's relationship. Thanks for sharing this information as I had not heard of the 5 pillars before. Oh, I am so glad to see a shorter way to type your username! Thank you - both for reading and saving my aching fingers! This is the first time I've heard of the Five Pillars, very interesting.
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HubPages and Hubbers authors may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others. HubPages Inc, a part of Maven Inc. As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, pairedlife. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so. Are we compatible? Are we incompatible? Sexual Compatibility Our sex lives are often the easiest to evaluate early on - at least to some degree.
Emotional Compatibility We should consider both our general natures and how we behave under stress to determine emotional compatibility. Spiritual Compatibility Even atheists have a spiritual position - that God does not exist.
Compatibility Is Not About Similarity While similarities can create compatibility in some areas, there are times when being opposites is more helpful. Do you have any areas of incompatibility? Yes, too many! Yes, at least two.
Just one, thank heavens! We're doing well on all of these areas. See results. Still Not Sure if You're Compatible? Compatibility Test The link takes you to compatibility tests you can complete with or without your partner's partcipation.
It's not based on the Pillars of Compatibility discussed here, but can highlight other important characteristics of relationships. Question: What should I do if we are not intellectually compatible? Answer: Having one area of incompatibility won't automatically be a dealbreaker, but it will strain a relationship.
Helpful Very welcome, Moony! Thank YOU for stopping and checking it out! It is a really nice article!
The dating intellectual compatibility apologise, but
Voted up, interesting and useful! Thank you, Mary, I appreciate the share.
Dating: Don't Waste Your Time
Good dating intellectual compatibility did
Do you think affairs are ever acceptable? Both people agree with conditions or say no. One thinks affairs are ok sometimes and one doesn't.
Ideally, how often should a couple have sex? How much sexual experimentation would you like to see? There is even one important difference. Have you ever had an affair? What prompted it? One feels it's important and the other doesn't. One likes something the other has strong feelings against.
Yes, if avoidance creates hostility. We both are assertive, but compromise well.
We fight for our individual choices. One fights, the other keeps the peace. This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
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