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Posted by: Tabar Posted on: 18.04.2020

The media often depicts women as being inherently better homemakers and housekeepers than their male counterparts. Learn how this pervasive trend can affect your life. Good thing Mom is in the next room! Back in , Scharrer studied the commercials that aired over the course of one week on prime-time TV shows. Of characters depicted completing chores, were women and were men.

Sometimes I sneak out and meet him somewhere right after he gets off work because before 5 there is an awesome fish taco place that has two-for-one tacos before 5! The important thing is time. God will help you see when you can carve some time to keep those heartstrings strong. My husband and I have been married 34 years and during all the years the children were at home, we went on a weekly date. I had read somewhere that the best way to raise emotionally healthy children was to make your marriage a priority.

In life and in relationships in particular we always find time for the things that we choose to make a priority. I have quite a few friends that are have children that are teens or younger and they are always very stressed about how busy they are. I have gently pointed out that they have chosen these things: their kids play all the sports and their lives cycle through the sports seasons.

The kids are active in music lessons and are talented. The kids have many friends and someone always wants to have someone other or go to a party. The mom works full or part-time. They serve on boards, are elders, are on the Vestry at church. Are involved in their kids schools. My point is: parents have to choose. Thing about all the things that changed when you first met your beloved one! Studying And I think IMHO that kids should see parents putting their alone time and marriage ahead of their desires to play every sport, be on the go all the time, do all the things at church, etc.

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Sundays were family time. As a parent now, it feels a bit extreme, but I also respect that they had a life and a marriage that deserved attention. Telling the kids that if they want to do something on Friday that will require transportation, they will have to arrange it themselves as you are unavailable is totally justifiable. I frequently fed the children early, told them to clean up the kitchen and we went out!

Not to imply that our kids were orphans. But we set boundaries. Parents that do not care for their marriages during the kid years find themselves in for a huge shock when the last one leaves the nest.

I have a married sibling who has not adjusted at all to having all their children leave. Marriage is so wonderful when the kids leave LOVE having them come home and love having them return to their own lives but you have to lay the groundwork from the very beginning. Dates for us are trips to Costco or Home Depot without the kids. Yeah, we need some work in this area.

I remember at a church thing one time, the speaker was talking about watching in church as mom and dad got separated on the bench by 1 child, then 2, 3, etc, then it started reversing as kids left the nest.

My husband and myself have been married for 8 years and have a five year old, a three year old and one on the way. We hardly have formal dates! We try to make time after the littles go down but it can be hard. Definitely a place we need to take more priority! My husband drives truck so is away quite a bit. Add on homeschool and no family around and we maybe get to go out once a year. We can chat and laugh or say nothing.

Together 15 years this summer. The kids activities keep us very very busy, but there is always a little time somewhere on the weekend or even for a weekday lunch!

What a lot to think about! And perhaps this is the Holy Spirit giving me a kick in the behind. I will say that every week my husband has started going grocery shopping with me and we do get that time together to talk and sometimes we stop for a cup of coffee.

We have our 4th baby coming very soon and I have so appreciated that time with him each week. I miss it when he has to work late and I have to go the next day alone or with just the kids. It is so easy to get caught up with homeschooling, child rearing, cooking, cleaning, home making, etc. But our husbands need our attention too and we need theirs.

But this post has made me think and I really do appreciate that. Life is short and our spouse is our life long partner and they must be tended too just as much as our children. My husband and I will have been married 38 years this July. We have a date night once a week. We find it to be essential.

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It does not really matter where we go - just that we are together and have time to talk and focus on each other. It does not have to be expensive. When the kids were little we budgeted for a baby sitter or asked Grandma to watch the kids. Sometimes we packed a picnic supper and watched the sunset over the lake, sometimes we went grocery shopping no kids! These days we no longer need a sitter as we are almost empty nesters our youngest is only home from college in the summer and holidays but we still need date night.

Sometimes just overnight, sometimes a whole weekend. Again, it does not have to be expensive. Last year we spent two nights in a cabin at a state park in an area where we had never been. It was wonderful to explore the trails, see the wildlife, and just be together.

Some years we flat out cannot afford to go anywhere and we can tell the difference - there seems to be more friction between us and we do not communicate as well. Pray about it and get creative. It can be done and it is worth it!

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My husband and I have been married 37 years. We learned early on that a weekly date night was essential - we are closer, have more patience with each other, and communicate better when we have a few hours out to focus on each other. We could discuss things with no interruptions and make sure we were on the same page on parenting topics. This time together is especially important when the kids are teens. When they were little we budgeted for a sitter, and when money was tight we asked Granny or one of the aunts to watch them.

We've all seen commercials like this: A child makes a mess, and Dad has no idea how to clean it up. Good thing Mom is in the next room! She brings order to the disarray and delivers a message in the process: "Ads often convey the idea that women are inherently better at household chores than men," says Erica Scharrer, a professor of communication at the University of Massachusetts at. homemaker - Free Dating, Singles and Personals. If you are looking for your up to fashion type of girl keep on moving. I am more of a traditional woman. May 04,   I have an almost year old and a year old, a year old and an year old. All boys. Four very, very good looking boys. {Laura pauses to take a deep breath.} Someday I suppose you and I can discuss teenage dating or courtship or whatever we choose to call it.

We did not have much money to spend so we got creative - we packed a picnic and watched the sunset over the lake, we window shopped, we went to the grocery store and shopped in peace, we went shared a malt at the ice cream parlor, we let the kids spend the night with Granny and watched an old movie at home. It did not matter where we went, just that we were together.

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Now our youngest is in college so we do not need a sitter, but date night is still just as important. Sometimes we get a weekend together, sometimes just overnight.

Again it does not have to be expensive. Last year we stayed at a cabin in a state park. It was wonderful to walk the nature trails and explore an area we had never been before.

We have been married 14 years. Thanks for sharing:. We have a 12, 13 and 14 year old and have been married for 22 years. We just recently made a weekly date night a priority for us. We picked a day and wrote it on the calendar just like any other event or appointment. My husbands idea was to pick the day of the week that our local movie theater offers discounted tickets in case we ever want to see a movie.

We keep it simple and inexpensive. Even if we only have an hour or two, we will still go out. I have been married for 17 yrs. Last Friday my daughter stayed with at my mother in law at our house. We went camping and had a wonderful time. We may not get to go anywhere for date but we may have go to the camper that in the front yard or I tell my daughter that her dad and I have private time together and we go to our room and shut the door.

Great timing. While we are not able to go on a date every week we make time to be together when we are home and get out and do something together like grocery shopping. We find that just getting away from everything and having an ice cream cone at Dairy Queen helps us to regroup and focus on each other.

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Thanks for your posts they encourage me. I love this post. I love my husband. My hubs and I are pushing 20 years and the older I get, the more the Lord blesses us to grow more in love. We make our couple time more sporadic, but make it a point to get out of the house together ALONE at least once a month. We run most evenings together and this is a great time to get caught up with each other uninterrupted, with no distractions.

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We try to go out to eat or even Starbucks a couple of times a month. My husband and I have been married almost 24 years. With 7 kids, things can get kind of crazy. Regardless of a busy schedule, we have a date night scheduled every week on the same day. A consistent date night makes a more consistent marriage.

We do change the date night occasionally to meet other commitments, but it is the exception not the rule. The dates can be simple. They are reconnecting times with your spouse. Grocery shopping, a movie, budgeting, planning, sharing a snack, even bowling will work. You pick based on your schedule and interests. Just remember it is connecting time, not competing time. Remember we take time to work on our hobbies, dating our spouse is working on our marriage.

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Not that we can stop doing daily things for each other, dating is just a boost to our relationship. We work hard on our marriage and try to find alone time as often as we can. Our marriage is our top priority right below our individual relationships with the Lord.

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There are people with little to no recourse for babysitting. There are military spouses whose husbands are gone for a year plus. But it looks very different for different people. We do not get to go out every week since sometimes finding a sitter is hard, or one of the kids is sick, but we know that even if we are home, all work stops, kids can watch a movie, and we do our best to focus on each other, during a few daytime hours before I fall asleep! It is difficult but we were given the advice at church and from my parents married 40 years, and I believe it has saved my happiness many times.

Monday night is family night, religiously. We have a lesson, sing songs, do an activity and have a treat. The rest of the week can fill up with crazy things, but we believe these things are indispensable. One thing I have learned is that things constantly change. We have always put priority on being together. Before kids and with one baby we drove truck and spent all day, everyday together.

We have chosen to pretty much accept no evening activities for our family. Formally it happens about twice a year. Most days we send the kids to the sandbox to play so mom and dad can visit or we put them to bed early and make us a nice snack to enjoy together in peace and quiet. When the kids were quite little we had 3 in 4 years we would give them a peanut butter sandwich when we got home from church and put them in bed while we put some effort into our Lunch.

I love this topic! I feel like you and I have journeyed this whole marriage thing from the beginning, together. We were married the same summer. You had four boys. I have four girls. I make a date out of everything and every time we spend together without our children. I am a night owl but I choose to wake early to be with my morning guy. We have coffee every morning before the kids get up. I am super sad when he has to leave earlier for work because I thrive on the one hour every morning.

We travel to a lot, I mean a lot of games and track meets, often just the two of us. We like to try all the small town restaurants a long the way. The car ride to and from is just as much fun as where we go or what we are doing.

I have also taken up golf and bike riding so I can spend more time with my BFF. It turns out that I really like him. Go figure! My husband and I have been married 23 years. We are now together most weekends which is more than what it was the last few years he spent in the military.

Even with all our work induced separations, we have a strong, good marriage. Outside of a relationship with Our Lord, the most important thing in a marriage is communication. Sure, date night can help with that, but it can also mask the lack of good communication. I also think that laughter is WAY up there. There are seasons of life. No guilt needed.

Enjoy the date nights that you are able to have, whether that is once a week or once a year! My husband and I have a great marriage. That said, we have six kids, so life is extremely full. We will be married 20 years in July!?

Our kids are 16,15,14,12,5, and 16months.? When the first four were little we had a date night weekly; probably more for our sanity.? As the kids have grown, we have realized their lives make things even more full. We still try to get out once a month, but we also add in dates to the gas station or a store. It sounds silly, but we are alone and we can still catch up during those few minutes or an hour.

I looked forward to those little dates and just the fact that we refer to them as dates makes it more fun. Our kids see our marriage and the way we treat each other.

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I would tell you to aim at a date night this month and see if it works for you to do another next month. Pencil it in on the calendar. Dates do not have to be expensive either. We would go sit at the beach with a homemade dinner and watch a movie on our Portable DVD player when we had no money. I can guarantee you will love your time away together. I will say that I agree about sometimes doing cheap or free things. As long as the kids are old enough to stay alone, it gets much easier.

We often just make or buy a coffee yay - coffee! We also love breakfast out. Funny, because as a kid I begged for a hamburger if we were out for breakfast anytime near 11 am. Its so much cheaper than another meal, and we love it. Plus, we can get back in time to still have much of the day. I remember one of the first and best parenting courses we took years ago emphasized the importance of the marriage relationship and the kids seeing and respecting the priority.

It gives them security. It could be coffee or a meal alone at home, or a designated time each day to connect working on this; hard, but so necessary! My friend with young adult children still living at home says they ask their sons to leave for so many hours and not come home before! This is my struggle, too.

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My boys are 1 and 2 and finding a sitter is hard. And all you older ladies who are saying there is LESS time once the kids get older have really depressed me. Waiting for the kids to grow up was my only hope! This was a good read. It can be challenging to stick to the cleaning schedule, but everyone functions better when the house is clean! Yes, I agree about the cleaning schedule! I try to keep it simple by focusing on these 7 everyday cleaning tasksand that makes it a bit more manageable.

Homemaking involves many habits that need to be practiced. Excellent goals to strive for I know I struggle with the getting up early one lol! Thanks for sharing on Homestead Blog Hop! I love this! Thank you for the inspiration to keep going! It really does take a tremendous amount of effort to be consistent. Thanks for sharing some great tips. I need to work on getting a cleaning schedule in place.

These are all great tips. I agree these are all good tips. I especially love the first one. How refreshing when a house is clean too. Wish it stayed that way a little longer! I am definitely not highly effective - but I do meal plan! The baby wakes up around 7am. I do take the time after his feed and before his sister gets up to do a few things. Thanks for sharing sweetinspiration Katelynn, hampersandhiccups. My youngest is 8, and I still have difficulty getting up early.

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These are great. I think I have some! I will be there til Easter at least! Great post! Easter sounds about right! Perfect tips!! We just started the Whisk It Wednesday link party and I thought you might be interested in sharing there too! Thanks, Carrie. These are great! Thank you especially for encouraging young moms! What a blessing. Thanks for joining the Grace at Home party at Imparting Grace.

I love this post! I have to keep a schedule and plan ahead or everything gets thrown out of whack! I am one of your neighbors today at A Wise Woman link up! God bless you! I hate the planning part of homemaking for chores or meals but that is always what makes things run smoothly. I really needed this this morning!

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I have a few of those habits, like waking up early and meal planning. Or stick to it. Thankfully we all have grace and know that tomorrow is always a new day!

I agree, so thankful for grace and each new day! Pinning this! Thank you for these great tips to have an effective home. I pray I can cultivate a cheerful and thankful spirit in my household. All great. I start well, rarely finish well. Today I plan to declutter our bedroom, make calzones, and write on hiding in Christ. A good day all around! Thank you for your inspiration. I can relate to having difficulty with the finishing well part. Your plan for the day sounds very fulfilling-thanks so much for sharing!

Great list! I struggle so much with number 6. Of course, I must also admit to a small homeschool curriculum hoarding problem. Thanks, Elizabeth! Oh, I know, I struggle with number 6 also. And, yes, I can relate to the homeschool curriculum hoarding!

This post was helpful! I enjoyed it and your list will be helpful in my household! Visiting from SittingAmongFriends.

Number 1 and 7 are my favorites. The verse from Philippians is the theme for my blog lovelylittlelives. This is a smart list! This list helps me visualize the kind of SAM I want to be.

Thank you. Thank you, Megan! Best wishes as you make the transition to stay-at-home mom! Love Love Love this!

Totally free online dating site with no credit card required. Join the top free online dating site at Free Date . Completely free online dating for all. No credit cards, no nonsense, just the best free dating site and mobile personals service on the web! To The New Homemaker. Jun 10, Jun 10, Jun 10, Consider Building A New Wardrobe. Jun 10, Jun 10, New To homemaking? Start Here: See All in "Start Here". Every weekday evening, Ash Krikorian, 35, comes home from work to a spotless apartment and an Armenian dish prepared by his year-old wife, Gaya. "I want him to be happy, and he loves how I.

Getting up early has always been an important part of the equation for me to not only stay ahead of everything but also to feel confident and in control fo the day. Thank you, Crystal! Yes, getting up early or at least earlier than other family members is a great help!

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You are a beautiful writer and your blog is beautiful! So glad I found you on a link up party. Definitely now a follower of yours! These are great tips. Thanks for sharing. My mother was a professional homemaker! And I think the reason that we loved being home and others loved coming over was mostly due to the fact that she cared about people and made them the most important focus. We have a rule here, if something new comes into the house, then something old must go.

It helps with the clutter. As a homemaker, I can definitely appreciate everything you listed! I belive we have the same outline of homemaking habits! Meal plans definitely help with our family of 5, we love to declutter, and though I do not like getting up early who does?!

And you can definitely tell by the atmosphere if I am upset, the family seems off balanced too. Lastly, I want to point out the bible verse you wrote. Loved it! For us, I strongly feel that our Christian values is what guides us in being a close family, guides us to understand the ups and downs and in guiding us to improve. The getting up early, even if 15 minutes before everyone else, so I can read my devotion and pray is a must!!

Meal planning is very important too - and I totally agree with number 7! Thank you for sharing with us at Hearth and Soul. Joy, I read this and felt inspired to be my best at homemaking.

Thanks for the inspiration. What a lovely post, full of love for home and the people who live there. Thanks for sharingstopping by from Mommy Moments!

I saw a link to your blog on Pinterest. Thanks so much for writing this! I know it sounds like a no-brainer to some and I envy them! It is so easy to slip into routines that are not effective when you get too busy with school, work, sports, etc. I have even half convinced myself that flying by the seat of my pants is a coping talent. I want them to learn good habits and skills now. We really do set the tone for the home. Thanks so much for sharing your insight and experience.

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I really appreciate it. I discovered you in the Women with Intention linkup and the title of your blog post attracted my attention! I no longer have little ones at home I have 4 grown kids, and now 3 granddaughtersbut I still definitely need to work on 5 and 6! Thank you for this great post. So glad you came by! This as beautiful!!!

You shared the same things that I feel are needed for keeping a home full of love. I love this post.

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The items on this list that I do well definitely allow me to be a more efficient, purposeful homemaker! Thanks for this! When my kids were younger, Thursday was housecleaning day. Now I only seem to clean when guests are coming.

Joy, I just came across your blog via Pinterest, and I feel like I just met a dear friend! Thank you for this post. I read a lot of blogs about homemaking and I just love the way you word things. Thank k you for taking the time to write. I do not subscribe to many blogs 4 to be exact but I am subscribing to yours.

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Thanks for all the great information. This was beyond helpful for me. I am a mom of 4 young children, and this week we have been struggling with a stomach bug. It has been a day of testing every boundary, whining, and loads of laundry. As I type this, there is a mountain of clean clothes on the couch, and I ended up having to just leave it there so I could go to work for the evening.

Nothing makes a mom feel like a bad mom, when you leave cranky kids with daddy, and unfinished chores in literally everyone room of the tiny apartment we call home.

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I printed this off, and will put it up for me to see on a regular basis. I can relate. Hope the stomach bug goes away soon and things start looking up! How I need encouragement. I can clean and organize anywhere else in the whole world But My house.

It is a total disaster. I bought the book Martha house when you are a Mary.

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