Picture this: You're getting to know a guy who seems like the total package. He's brilliant and witty and has a body like a Hemsworth. But then all of a sudden, a red flag pops up that makes you reconsider the entire thing. How do you deal? That depends on how serious a red flag it really is.
Collectors have a lot to keep track of.
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You might meet his friends or be privy to some personal details but when he has a real problem, he closes himself off. You might get sick of the ups and downs and express uncertainty. Because the highs are great but the lows really suck. He will tell you just how crazy this is.
And if you ask too often or require too much proof that he really does like you, you are the insane person asking too much and he will be done with you. It will be a short, sweet, low-effort communication but just enough to make you think they want to keep you around.
And they do. Just not that much.
Oct 08, Red Flags When Dating a Narcissist. Below are some red flags to look out for. Having a few traits doesn't mean that someone is diagnosable with NPD - a narcissistic personality disorder. Relationship experts say these are the 8 red flags to look out for when y.
We all want a partner we can be proud of. But collectors want the thing that other people want. You might be the sexy, brainy, witty one. Collectors really get to know you at the beginning and take a real-seeming interest in your life.
He never goes much deeper than that at those early stages, though, because he wants to catalog you as simply as possible. Sometimes, the collector will say things so smooth and so charming that seem almost rehearsed.
In a way, they are. Think about the collectors you see in movies and in television.
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A collector only shows you as much of himself as he can bear. Surrounding himself with things he attaches meaning to is about as much of a relationship as he can handle.
Sadly, there are even more signs than the above. The seemingly sensitive woman will think if she loves him just right, she can break his habit. Giving me this peek into his probably honest changing mind was a way to keep me on the hook. I always felt that if I could just understand him better than anyone else, I could give him my heart and vice versa. When I called him on being a collector, he was insulted!
Deep down, I think his games were a way for him to always feel alluring and wanted.
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Eliminate one head and a new one appears. So, my advice? Have fun with a collector but maintain cautious bemusement. And if he claims you are, look for solid proof.
Maybe panties and a sex tape. Collectors love a good souvenir. Find the goodness of this moment-in a book, in powerful words, in a comforting image, through the writers and artists you love and all that you hold dear.
This will get you through. Reblogged this on Kim's Random Thoughts.
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There are unconscious explanations why you might attracted to a narcissist. Here are some reasons why you might not recognize a narcissist:. Below are some red flags to look out for. For narcissists, the world revolves around them.
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When you talk to your date, is he or she interested in getting to know you, or talk only about themselves? This is a tell-tale sign that you will feel invisible in the relationship.
If you felt invisible in your family, you might take this for granted. You could possibly feel validated by the attention you give as a good listener.
Beware that this pattern will likely continue. As mentioned above, some narcissists are skilled communicators and will appear fascinated by you, even mirror your interests to make you like them.
Be aware of other signs of lack of consideration: walking far ahead of you, making you track them down for a return phone call, arriving late, disregarding your boundaries and needs, or interrupting conversations to take calls from other people. This is revealed in their behavior and how they talk about themselves and others. Is your date a fault-finder who criticizes or blames others, the opposite sex, or an ex?
One day he or she may be bashing you. When you go out, notice how he or she treats waitresses, car hops, and vendors. Does he or she show other people respect, or act superior to other certain groups, such as minorities, immigrants, or people of less means or education? Narcissists like to be associated with high-status people and institutions. This is due to insecurity.
Does your date think only his or her school is the best, and require the best car, the best table at the best restaurant, the finest wines, and wear expensive labels, or name drop public figures they know?
This may impress you, but will later depress you when you feel ignored or like a prop in their life. This trait is a give-away.
A relationship with this person will be painfully one-sided, not a two-way street. Narcissists are only interested in getting what they want and making the relationship work for them. Hence, they need constant validation, appreciation, and recognition.
They seek this by bragging about themselves and their accomplishments. They may even lie or exaggerate.
10 RED FLAGS IN DATING (WARNING!!)
People who brag are trying to convince themselves and you of their greatness. Narcissists put their needs first.
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They may manipulate you with flattery, belittling, or threats. Their lack empathy may show when planning a date. Listen to what your dates say about themselves and past relationships.