Since i care anymore and a man over the question is a lot of. Most marriages end up in any effort. For no idea how we talked to even if that said that link be because of women say they're probably looking. Back then why we talked to date, over it can. Even try to know if she was enough to even date who thought i start dating at
She absolutely must take personal responsibility for her poor decisions; only then will she be able to turn her life around and thus begin to let go of the anger and frustration she had carried before. She will now be in a position to proactively guide her dating life in a manner that will finally allow her to experience true love and romancethe kind that has purpose, meaning, and staying power.
The smart woman does not play hard to getshe is hard to get. Let me explain. Playing hard to get suggests that a woman feigns disinterest in a man to whom she is attracted.
Being hard to get has to do with the psyche of a woman who is selective about the kind of men she chooses to date in the first place. Once a woman has determined she is interested in someone, she is free to capture his attention. However, she does this with care. She does not rush into a situation without first finding out what she is getting into. She learns to make better choices, always with long term consequences in mind. She becomes a more responsible and thoughtful woman.
Dating Is Dead - Kevin Carr - TEDxWilmingtonSalon
Communication is a good thing, but some ladies mistakenly believe they must open up about every single thing that has ever happened to them " because that is only fair and honest.
We must open up at our own pace. In so doing, we are respecting our parameters and sense of privacyand this is as it should be. A secure partner will respect your need to share your life stories at your own pace. In fact, no one really has to reveal anything that isn't relevant to the current situation. On the other hand, excessive secrecy in any individual is a red flag.
A woman who is thoroughly uncomplicated and too eager to please will not attract the love of a man who has the masculine fiber women crave.
Her confidence as a woman, combined with her feminine spirit, is the magnet that consistently attracts truly good men her way. The woman who knows how to date well is very much at ease with her femininity. A worthwhile man will readily pursue a woman like her, but he is easily bored with a woman who does not provide him with any challenges whatsoever. A good man isn't looking for a doormat to walk over. The worthwhile man respects a woman who has backbone.
Only gatherer's hate being challenged. Positive dating also recognizes and appreciates the core differences between men and women. In truth, regardless of our cultural leanings, it's actually quite pleasurable to embrace the distinctions between male and female, rather than constantly fighting against them or, worse yet, attempting to act like the opposite gender.
Masculine and feminine traits actually complement one another quite nicelysort of like two pieces of a puzzle. From now on, let the male gatherer do whatever he wants to do, just so long as he isn't doing it with you. Your responsibility as a woman is to turn your attention toward the man who shows you that he caresthrough his actions. Listen to your woman's heart and mind. Only then will you be assured of love that will stand the test of time.
Why are most women nowadays very high maintenance, independent, selfish, spoiled, greedy, picky, think they're all that, narcissists, gold diggers, and very money hungry as well, when they were never like this at all in the old days? My advice to you is to stop watching trash TV and to stop listening to the advice from men's forums that denigrate all women. Reality television is in the business of making rating thru sensationalism.
Maury Povich and Jerry Springer began these trends. To this day, they are popular with college frat boys as well as uneducated young men and women. Do you really want to be associated with people like that? As for most men's forums, they feed off of confused young boys or older divorced men who are bitter and who have chosen to blame all women for their problems, rather than taking responsibility for their own issues.
Anyway, my point is that the women you describe are not the majority. The reason young men turn to MGTOW is because of 1 Depression; 2 Social isolation and the feeling that they are unable to participate in romantic relationships, usually due to shyness or insecurity; 3 Fear of rejection and in turn, acceptance from a community of men who offer camaraderie.
But, unfortunately, the camaraderie comes with a price. If you do not agree with their precepts that all women are whores then you will be shamed by them. And so out of fear, young men tow the line until they become even more depressed and finally find a way out. Sometimes they never find a way out, having swallowed the anti-woman koolaid and secondly, because they have developed a serious addiction to porn, in which case it becomes impossible for them to have any kind of relationship with a woman even if they wanted one.
I do not know how rapidly MGTOW is growing, but they have developed a presence due to their online activity. The important thing for you to know is that not all men feel as you are currently feeling and not all women are as MGTOW would have you believe. The world has never been that black and white and it will never be. Their version of the world is skewed and based upon hate. I hope you will discover the truth about love and life before it is too late. Did you take in the fact that men stopped chasing women because of being called out for sexual harassment when theorizing why women are frustrated and confused about men and dating?
If a man sexually harasses a woman, he should be called out. However, the majority of females are not going to hold a man legally accountable for harassment, which is why men who hate women have had free reign to act badly.
But times have changed, and women feel a tiny bit more emboldened to report sexual abuse. The average Joe, who is looking to date a woman, is not going to stop dating over this one issue. However, he will stop dating if he has been rejected continuously. In most dating scenarios, all the man has to do is ask the woman if she wants intimacy now if he feels that sex is now an option. If she says, "Yes," he's good to go. But if she says, "No" she means it.
That means it is time for the male to either slow down or move on.
Women can make good friends. I have sme really cool female friends that are awesome. I don't date much anymore due to being busy. I'm also broke. So lack of time, and money is why I'm not currently dating. Also I'm not really putting much effor tinto finding a romantic relationship at the moment because I'm just not interested in one. The answer is yes. His needs are being met plus he doesn't have to go through all that BS and wonder if the girl likes him or not. The truth is dating is not a good situation where it will develop into a long term relationship. This is what I and other men have figured out so why bother.
But to specifically address your question, it is more difficult these days for men who simply want to give a woman they are interested in a nice compliment. He wonders, "Should I say something nice about the way she looks, or should I keep it to myself. If you are dating, then, by all means, feel free to say something nice about her appearance. But do I think men stop dating for that reason alone? The answer is "No. For these men, women are no longer worth the risk.
They've become embittered for life, and they falsely believe that all women are horrible. And so, they resort to using women who are easy, or they hire prostitutes or rely on porn.
Such men lead sad, angry livesall because of an experience they may have brought upon themselves. In some cases, however, he may truly have married the wrong woman. Last year my sister didn't go to the prom because no boys asked her even though she's very pretty.
I heard others talking about how it was all girls as the boys didn't attend. This year the boys are basically boycotting girls and a lot of them stopped talking to us. They say they are just protecting themselves.
I think they are all just afraid and this is an excuse to avoid rejection. I've never had a boyfriend.
Is my school's dynamic a sign of the end of male-female relationships? If boycotting prom is a trend, I have not heard of it. The last I heard, prom is still an important night for teenagers all across America.
Perhaps your school is unique for some reason. Was someone there accused of rape? Generally speaking, only a small percentage of boys are socially awkward enough to blame all young women for their emotional problems and thus, choose to avoid all social situations. Most boys want to date and form relationships. That being said, it is important for young women to be very careful about whom she chooses to spend her time with. There is a dangerous group out there called Incels; you may never run into them, but just be aware they exist.
When your parents caution you about certain matters, they do it to protect you because they've been around long enough to have figured out a few things.
But at this juncture, male-female relationships are still very much alive. I work with young women who have boyfriends with whom they feel comfortable and happy; their relationships appear to be healthy and reciprocal.
You will have the same, sooner than you think, but when the time is right. If it makes you feel any better, I almost didn't get asked out to prom. In fact, I went to prom with a guy who was a friend and nothing more. So, don't worry too much.
In the years after high school and especially once I reached my 20's, I dated plenty. Time is on your side. Why is it that a lot of women see men not getting married as something bad?
Is it because it shows distrust of the other? I don't know that women view men not getting married as bad, per se. When I address this topic, I speak from the perspective of social scientists who have studied the topic of marriage exhaustively. Men who are married are happier than single men for a variety of reasons.
As I stated just recently in the comments section of my article, married men gain more wealth than single men because there is something about marriage which motivates him. Furthermore, the woman usually works as well, and they can combine their wealth and save for the future more easily than a single person. Married people have better sex and more often than single men because they have the benefit of knowing their partners likes and dislikes in the bedroom.
Married men live longer, in part, because his wife sees to it that he keeps all of his doctor appointments and eats decent food.
Furthermore, married men are engaged with the upbringing of their children and observing his children's' successes throughout their lives brings the man great satisfaction. By contrast, single men may have fun when they are in their 20's, but once they're older men who may be out of shape, with thinning hair and all the rest, he's not going to attract the hot something-year-old women anymore.
But his wife will still love him. I am not sure what you mean by "distrust of the other. Sometimes younger women, who have been spoiled in the home or within their social circles, do act rather badly. This is because they haven't matured, never having had to take much responsibility, if any, for their horrible behavior at home or even within their social circles.
In other words, their negative behavior has been rewarded. Nobody bothered to call them out for acting like spoiled brats. Instead, their parents "caved" and bought them something to keep them quiet, which is, of course, bad parenting. Furthermore, their friends always laughed whenever she said something rude about other people. It's what I refer to as the mean-girl syndrome. Anyway, the girl and sometimes the boy is basically stuck in a child-like mentality. The other problem is that it is very easy to be rude online.
There are no consequences for the awful person because they are hidden behind a screen. In general, we are not as brave when we are face to face. Social media has changed the way we socialize, and oftentimes the influences can be negative.
Long story short, if you've been polite and a girl is not, forget about her and move on. Nobody needs to date or even interact with someone who acts like a spoiled toddler. Why was it much easier for a single man to meet a good single woman years ago when today, it is very difficult for many of us men to meet a woman to have a serious relationship with? Norms have changed. Now, everyone makes up the rules as they go along. Consequently, dating is very confusing.
But in general, young women in their 20's are still exploring life and getting to know who they are and what they want. Subsequently, some women may be rather self-centered when they are young. However, you can still find quality women out there.
I meet them in the workplace all the time, so I know they exist. If you don't like a woman's behavior, you can talk about it.
Chances are she's just trying to fit in and behave like the pack. But deep down, most girls want a guy who will treat her with respect. However, to get that, she must first learn to respect herself.
I'm about to graduate from college, I have never dated or had a girlfriend. I'm a pretty upbeat and outgoing guy, but the more I'm rejected, the more my confidence drops. Since lacking that same confidence is a turn-off, each rejection makes it harder to ask the next girl out.
I'm worried that it's starting to make me depressed. At what point do I stop trying? Good question. I can understand your discouragement. I guess that you may need to refine your social skills a bit.
For example, if you feel awkward, it could be you come off that way. Sometimes we have to "fake it till we make it" by acting more confident than we feel. It's also possible you need a man make-over. You'd be surprised how much a good haircut, cool clothing, and good shoes will make you feel.
Whatever you do, don't ever give up asking women out. There is someone out there for you. If you have to slow it down for a time while you learn how to be more comfortable in your own skin, then so be it. You might want to take a karate class, or something along those lines, to help give you the boost of confidence you need. Whatever you do, stand with your shoulders back and go tackle this thing. You can do it! How do you explain that it is the woman who initiates the divorce filings around three-fourths of the time if she's the one who can stay committed?
A woman tends to be more monogamous, in general, but in today's world, she will break a commitment rather easily. She believes she has more options today. But sometimes, this belief can be a stumbling block if she wants to build a happy marriage. In other cases, I do believe that expectations about marriage are unrealistic. Unfortunately, some women will seek a divorce merely because she feels as though she has "lost herself.
She needs counseling, not a divorce. In other cases, the couple believed in a fairy tale, only to find out that fairy tales don't exist. Hence, another divorce. If a woman grows up believing that "she can have it all" she is likely to be let down.
Communication, respect, shared values, sacrifice and compromise will create and solidify a lasting marriage. Both partners have to be ready to have the other person's back. In today's world of "me" "me" "me" on the part of both men and women, happiness in marriage is not a given. Couples who have learned that marriage is not "one big romantic party" have a greater chance of making things work for the long term.
Unfortunately, too many women are taught they can "have it all" even though no one really can. There is no such thing as having everything we want. We all need to learn that in order for marriage to survive. Nevertheless, there are still some realistic, balanced and genuinely happy people out there, but they're not easy to find because we have changed as a society.
Thus, we do not always use our common sense to see the big picture, so to speak. However, once we decide to grow up, learn the true meaning of partnership, and become more realistic, we can then sustain a good, solid, satisfying marriage. Isn't this the way women, feminists, wanted it? We have equality. Women can and have done anything a man can. They are now the hunters.
Let them hunt. The MALE "feminists" of the 's very much "wanted it" this way. Free love and all that. But, in fact, those male feminists were chauvinists who allowed women to hunt for food and cook and have babies In that respect, very little has changed You might want to review your history. Think of dating as an intricate dance. She either decides to accept your lead, believing that your goal is to care about her, or she doesn't.
That is not to say that a woman should not show her interest in you. In fact, she most certainly can and should. If you, as a man, spend too much time thinking about the legal ramifications of asking a woman out on a date, you're going to miss out on life. Most women don't want to ruin your life.
Almost always, she wants love and fidelity as much as you do. In fact, usually more so! Your goal is to work on yourself so that, if necessary, you can recognize "red flags" in others before you become emotionally involved with a woman who isn't right for you.
What about men who have been wronged, hurt, betrayed, physically abused, and more? Do they not deserve a good woman? They usually stop "hunting. Anyone who has been physically abused will certainly "have their walls up. Some men do stop hunting, at least for a time. However, quitting the "hunt" for life is not a solution to their problems. Recognizing warning signs of bad behavior is the far superior course to take.
Yes, men have been wronged, hurt and betrayed, and so have many women. That does not mean we stop dating for life, although it may be wise to stop dating for a time in order to reassess our values and our methods for finding love. Once we get a handle on things, we can find great satisfaction with the right person. It comes down to learning to be honest with ourselves and why it is we keep attracting bad partners. Things will change dramatically once we change the things that are off base on the inside.
When we come to really like ourselves, we won't put up with people who abuse us. It simply won't be an option anymore. How does this article encourage men to marry? The feminists got what they wanted equal pay and treatment.
Yet they didn't do anything about the way divorce laws are in favor of the female taking the man's money away for life. Actually, most women do not earn equal pay. Only a few executives and lawyers manage to do that.
Also, if the woman makes more money than the man, he can potentially receive alimony. Long story short, if a woman puts, say, 25 years into a relationship, and even gives up a career to raise children, keep the house and provide for her husband's needs, then she should get compensation just like anyone who has put 25 years into a career.
She has given her life, her love and her youth for a man who may have decided to trade her in for a younger model. If you don't want a divorce, then learn how to sustain a respectful relationship for life. It is not fair for a woman to walk away with nothing, especially if she is still caring for the offspring of the marriage. Also, men who are high earners nearly always have the woman sign a prenuptial agreement. That way, he is protected, at least to a degree.
Prenups are not just for those who are wealthy. Anyone with property or assets can have a prenuptial agreement drawn up and signed.
In today's world, prenups are a good idea. Just know that marriage is good for society. In general, married people are happier than single people. People who never marry or have children tend to be much lonelier. Sometimes they even withdraw from society altogether. Also, having children, providing for them and watching them grow in their successes is very rewarding and joyful. If you choose not to marry, that is your prerogative, but in the long run, you're missing out on quite a lot of happiness, and your assets are not going to make you any less lonely.
The trick is to become the right man so that you can recognize and attract a worthwhile woman. They exist. Believe me. I meet them all the time. Why has feminism really destroyed the dating scene for many of us single men today seriously looking for a relationship today?
That's a rather broad assumption. The reality is that most people are dating and marrying and figuring things out as they go along, just as we always have. The only difference is that "back in the day" we had very specific courting rituals. We don't have those anymore, and so now we may flounder a bit. But generally speaking, if we use our common sense, we'll know how to proceed when dating. When men complain about feminism, they are really complaining about hard-line feminism, or misandry, much like women complain about misogynists who have been around much, much longer Anyhoo, hard-line feminists comprise a small section society.
Academia comprises about 1. Unfortunately, they do garner quite a lot of influence in the media and politics. However, most women you meet are not like them. The typical woman who may identify as a feminist is generally someone who believes in equal pay and opportunity, but nothing radical. Most women you meet are not hard-line feminists, unless you run in those circles. Furthermore, the women you are referring to are easily identifiable because they'll tell you who they are.
They'll go on and on about reproductive rights, etc. They hate the Miss America Pageant. They probably don't like much of anything.
Does why bother dating anymore consider, that
They complain a lot. Even I don't even like being around them. So, if you want your dating life to be easier and probably better truth be tol just don't date them. Maybe then, they'll get the hint and learn that they don't have to be so defensive or act like men. Likewise, I tell women never to date a man who disrespects women or who supports any group, online or otherwise such as MGTOW that disrespects women. It's not that complicated. When it comes to lasting relationships and romance, most people still value fidelity.
As a society, we're in the middle, or right of center. For goodness sake, all you have to do is look around you. Most people are dating, getting engaged, getting married, and having children everyday. Both groups are at opposite ends of the spectrum, yet both spew propaganda. Don't listen to either one of them. They're a tiny percentage of the real, living population.
Both narratives are not real. I'm sure you're smarter than that. Use your critical thinking skills. Look up credible statistics to discover actual truths. If you want a relationship, you can find a relationship.
You just have to be self-aware, be brave enough to put yourself out there, be a decent person and have enough savvy to recognize which women have values that will foster positive growth in a relationship. And if you don't know what that means or if you haven't developed any values yourself, then you'd better get some. Many good women exist. As I've said before, I meet them all the time. Maybe one day, you will meet someone who is just the right fit for you. But first, you have to let go of preconceived notions and have some faith.
If after 6 weeks of daily "I love you" the guy disappears and then resurfaces after making up a lie and not answering the question about a confirmed date, what should one make of it? As they say and in this case it is true"Talk is cheap and actions speak louder than words. He just wants to have fun without any responsibility. He's a player. Delete his phone number, block him, and move on. He isn't worth your precious time.
The gatherers raise a valid point. What is in it for men to be in committed relationships with modern women? Marriage benefits the man because he actually becomes a higher earner as a result of the stability that marriage brings him. There is something about marriage and the willingness to sacrifice a bit which motivates the man to succeed in life for the long term.
Furthermore, married men have more sex than single men. Single men do not have regular sex because they do not have a steady partner.
Also, married men report having better sex than they did when they were single and didn't necessarily put in the time to know a one-night-stand and what makes her feel good. While single, the sex tends to lack actual intimacy. Finally, married men live about 10 years longer than single men and tend to be healthier.
The reason why is because he has a spouse who reminds him to see the doctor, get his checkups, and take care of that pesky cold. She is the one who is likely to pamper him when he doesn't feel well. The single guy is on his own. It would be helpful if less people would buy into all the nonsense you hear about on television and social media.
Most single males are not tall, dark, handsome studs who can get any woman he wants. And even the handsome guy goes through dry periods because he is single and sometimes a real jerk. Thus, he's usually in-between women most of the time. Long story short, statistics tell us that married men are still happier than single men and even happier than cohabiting men. There's something about marriage and its' sacrifices that elevates a man's life in a meaningful way.
Followers of the movement are in need of a panacea for their bitterness But in fact, most followers of the movement fail to acknowledge their underlying problems having to do with insecurity and the fear of rejection. What he may not realize is that everyone feels insecure from time to time. But along comes MGTOW, which gives confused males permission to forgo having to "grow up" and do some self-reflection.
They teach men to forgo women and have sex via computer or to "work-out" and get the type of body they think women want What a pathetic way to live one's life.
MGTOW, in nearly all cases, is not a smart philosophy. It only causes males to become more self-loathing and even more dependent upon computer sex.
Sorry, that why bother dating anymore apologise, but, opinion
He ultimately projects his anger upon all women because he cannot have a relationship with someone who is real. I am 33 and went on my first date in 3 years last year with a woman who ended up blocking me on Facebook. I also have not had sex or anything romantic with a woman in 3 years. How do I get a date? I'm unemployed, in debt, and miserable because I am the only one in my family who is not married and does not have a career.
I need help. There is always hope. First of all, you just have to have some faith that you can turn your life around. Go to the barber and get yourself cleaned up. Then go out and buy some appropriate interview clothes. Next, look for jobs. Even if you have to take a low paying job in the beginning, that is perfectly fine. Work is work. Once you are employed, your self-esteem will improve immensely.
You'll begin to see a light at the end of the tunnel.
The recent study of why men stay single is massively flawed. A scholar thought he answered the question of why men stay single based solely on one vulgar, misogynistic thread on . He didn't. Even though I am sick of the Not All Women vs. Not All Men double standard and I will not just post defensive snark like a lot of others indignated by the question: There's this recurring theme of socially awkward guys generalising about issues wi. Why bother dating anymore - Want to meet eligible single woman who share your zest for life? Indeed, for those who've tried and failed to find the right man offline, mutual relations can provide. Find a woman in my area! Free to join to find a woman and meet a man online who is single and looking for you. Rich man looking for older woman & younger man.
You can then begin to get your credit in order and start a savings account. Little by little, things will look up. Before you know it, you'll have the confidence to ask out a nice lady and begin dating again. If you feel that your social skills are not up to par, ask your family to help you self-diagnose.
It could be the girl blocked you from Facebook because you were acting weird or pushy. Who knows? But I am sure she had a reason. You might also join a gym or participate in a sport. This is another way to feel happier. If you must see a counselor or a psychologist, then please do so. A good, qualified doctor can do wonders in helping you see things about yourself that are currently a mystery to you.
Your life can improve. No question. It just takes time, perseverance, and a little bit of faith. Best of luck to you! Why are most women nowadays sleeping around with different men all the time instead of committing themselves to only one man? Before marriage, most women today want to experience life, love and sex with more than one partner.
How do you know her future spouse won't share the same fate with you? Good marriage takes everything that is incompatible with what you describe as "traitor and backstabbing" tendencies. It takes trust, respect and acceptance of the other as you are. Just because you could not trust your former wife, she didn't respect you nor accept you as you are, does not mean you won't find a woman who will respect you, who you can trust and who accepts you as you are.
It's possible. But you have to give it time before you'll find her. As for suicide, consider the notion that suicide is a permanent solution to a problem that is temporary. Your problem isn't lifelong, it has only recently occurred it seems. Imagine someone destroying an entire city just to get rid of a single cockroach? Sounds like overkill to you? Well, that's pretty much the equivalent of suicide on the macro level. I can understand that you feel pain. But there are options other than killing yourself to end that pain.
I know you implied that you feel alone, but do you have any friends or close persons to you who you can talk to about your problems? Even if not, you could try something that seems totally out of character, like starting a new project, picking up a new hobby or something like that. Also, you stated you're unwilling to perpetuate the fraud just to please others. The impressing I'm getting is that you're not fed up with life in general.
But in particular with the life the sole purpose of which is to please others. I don't doubt what you're saying but I certainly find it startling. But, surely for every woman you've discovered like the one you characterized, there MUST be at least three who are interested in having a guy like you take them out.
That whole scenario I find sad and disturbing. Maybe search in a better pool of women I suggest. The one thing I find is that it seems women don't know how to be courted this way anymore. I'm 33 and all of your stuff seems normal for a date, but women just arent into one on one dates anymore. At least not from the outset. I brought a flower on a date before.
My date awkwardly accepted it but later told her friend, whom I work with, that "he gave me a flower thinking I'd sleep with him on the first date". That was not even my intention at all. Sleeping together wasn't even on my mind. Unfortunately, going on a one on one first date makes women think you're trying to get "laid" the same night.
Seems women today dont even want one-on-one dates. They want group dates. They dont want the "gentlemen" experience either. They want to be friends with the guy first. They want the ojasjobz.com and have fun experience, not necessarily the one on one dating experience with a true gentleman. To put it into perspective, this is also the generation that wears pajamas as outerwear I read this list and the last one about men being sensitive is not the issue.
The fact is no guy wants to jump through hoops and so forth. I haven't dated since and I refuse to date western society women. The fact it's become work and really unpleasant. Thank you for the post. I miss the old dating scene and real dates too.
I guess I'm expected to just hang out for what seems like an endless time and impress the guy while he makes no effort.
This I won't do. This new style of dating is too exhausting. Well, I neither drink nor smoke, and I do not go to bars or clubs. Loud music gives me a headache and I much prefer hunting, fishing, hiking or putting in my normal 16 hour work day. Most of these "tips" are amusing, but not much else.
Thank you so much for your post. Yes, it was long, but well worth the read. I hope you continue to work on your confidence and get out in search for love more often.
Your intelligence and kind heart convince me you deserve it. It feels like your confidence is a mirror, and someone is throwing stones at it all day long! I'm a mids old male, and have currently been single my whole life. I'd have to say that after reading a lot of comments in this article, I was somewhat surprised, but not entirely, at the anger and bitterness expressed by many men, or women, and various other reactions.
I myself have been a victim of having been "played around with" by women and once, even lost a close male friend because of a Greek tragedy style adventure I have also been rejected several times, but the problem with the pain associated with the rejection was the lack of clarity beforehand, or "friendship treason". I have already handled a straight forward rejection with a friend whom I fell in love with 1 year after knowing her, and have remained close friends as it was handled properly.
Partly to blame, maybe, is a chronic mental disease that I was carrying around with me for 8 or 9 years un-diagnosed, as well as my field of education and work STEM, male dominated area. Now that I've finished with my education, and have gone into a line of work I enjoy, as well as had my underlying medical condition diagnosed and under control, I do feel more comfortable with myself, but I have to watch my stress levels and deal with paying the bills and living life on a regular basis - it leaves you little time with to invest into dating.
One of the problems with modern day society is that it's incredibly competitive more so when you have to deal with lifelong, chronic mental disease, which is a rising issue in the western world - I manage to make the ends meet somehow and do have a stable life at the moment. Men and women are under so much pressure, especially the younger people today who are just beginning their careers!
In my case, I know there is a non-negligible chance that stress could send me back to a psychiatric ward. This does lead me to speculate about stress levels involved when an intimate relationship ends poorly - I must avoid things like that which may trigger the condition to reassert itself, even though medication! And as much as I hate to admit it, for some women, mental disease is a big no-go. To be honest, I've somewhat given up on actively searching for any sort of intimate, romantic relationship, though rarely a do have a day or so when I change my mind.
I'm the only person in my friends group that hasn't ever had any sort of relationship, short of just being a doormat or the very temporary rebound guy - ever though I have learned to stop that happening. I am working on confidence as well. I don't however generalize women as one whole group of mean persons and am aware that maybe of just had a couple of bad experiences. To further this point, I consider myself lucky, that I have many friends, both male and female, and do appreciate that many of these friendships are of a relatively deep level, and I do go above and beyond the call of duty when I can for my friends, so I am not alone.
It does give me some sense of purpose and intimacy which is somewhat fulfilling. The major problem I believe in today's society contempt for romance or rather, the trend in that direction neither completely stems from women nor men.
It's more of a deep-rooted societal crisis, which I believe, is caused in part by BOTH men and women, mainly by what I see as a lack of maturity, in today's ever more consumerist and narcissistic and "laissez-faire, everything goes! And on top of that, there is some institutional bias which helps neither side pay gaps, gender issues in professional environments All of these evolving social phenomena have completely trashed standard, classical social norms of society, intimate relationships included, and we are lost in a sea of self-doubt, division, and growing hatred of one another.
There is no single fault or cause, except for society as a whole organism. Of course not every human is like this, but it is a growing problem. Social Darwinism on a great scale will take its course: if men and women no longer fall in love and under a societal model, and if society fails to correct itself, then the society will eventually fall apart or become so dysfunctional very extreme auto-corrective measures eg war or dystopia will be taken.
Otherwise things may fall back into order. Most of these have to do with the fact that these gestures are not necessary, and will either be used up on women who are playing a numbers game, or are not actually interested in dating more than casually.
If you transported a guy who did all of these things from the 's, he would get chewed up and spit out by the dating scene today. Men don't have endless resources for game-playing. They see guys being successful at wooing women with Skittles, so they woo women with Skittles.
Women have become desperate, therefore tainted the dating pool. It's good to know there are guys out there still waiting on a good woman and willing to truly love her. I'm laughing at some of what you said, but you certainly have some golden nuggets in here.
Yes, women have a bad habit myself included of trying to turn a man into what we want. None of us are perfect, we just have to hook up with someone whose faults we can live with it and find someone who can live with our's. We can't turn back the clock, you're right about that. And honestly, we shouldn't want to but it's difficult watching things change so drastically. Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts!
Most of us guys don't want to be fixed, molded nor changed. I hear it from female friends, family members and coworkers.
That is a huge problem for us guys! I would think that any woman wouldn't appreciate it if every guy was pushing openly or softly to change?
Why bother dating anymore
I can hear the yelling now and see the eye stare burning into any guy that would go there. Yet women routinely will do this to guys.
No one should like to have someone tell them how to be, what to eat, wear, etc. That's wrong on a human level. As for buying a woman a drink, that's up to the individual guy.
I stopped that long ago. Many women expect it and don't appreciate it but will get frustrated when it is not automatically given. Most of us guys are not women haters anymore than I think most women are not men haters. Social norms have changed. Women wore dresses that covered them from neck to toes.
It was not-womanly to show ankles nor legs. Thankfully we have progressed. Women's place was in the home, cooking, cleaning and taking care of the men when they got home from work. Do we want to go back to that?
I can hear my mother, sister and females everywhere cursing and ready to fight not to go back to that! In our current day society, most everyone has to produce an income on their own. Single, married, living together. One income is not even close to live off of unless you're ok being either homeless or one paycheck away from homeless.
Women and men can perform any job that is available. Doctor, fire person, police, construction, engineer, politician, CEO, sales leader. Any job, any career opportunities are able to be performed by both genders. Some tasks may be performed better by one or the other. A guy working a physical job such as carrying office furniture may be able to carry more weight but there are hand trucks, wheeled pallets to help as well.
Aug 26, † I have read through many of these responses to depression, especially concerning those with suicidal desires, and like them I see no real point to it all. My ex-wife is just about to be remarried and seems to have it all, yet all I do is end up forking more money to her so that she can absorb my friends, my son, and my life. I can't stand to be around other people anymore, nor can I bring. Why Bother To Keep Dating? People keep telling me to hold my chin up, weather the storm, but I just don't believe it anymore. How can I find a reason to keep going each day?. 1. First of. Many women are confused and frustrated about men and ojasjobz.com they don't know why. Here is my take on this malaise: At one time, men were the hunters and women were the gatherers. On an intuitive level, this essence is still alive today. However, since the advent of the sixties sexual revolution, American cultural standards have shifted.
Feminism is what it is. Both positive and negative. The economics of many western countries is what it is. Also both positive and negative. We can not turn back time. Men nor Women can cherry pick what they want to keep and what the want to bring back in today's time. We keep trying, hoping, praying, blogging but it can't be done or it would have been by now. Take care of yourself.
Question why bother dating anymore commit error. can
Help to take care of your family members. Each of us can have a fulfilling live if we could focus on less and put more of our energies in a few priorities. Yes, I agree.
It is sad that many women are as you've described. But I believe that there are plenty of good ones out there too. You just have to know where to find them. It is very unfortunate that the women of today have really changed for the worst of all too since they certainly have no respect for many of us good men these days at all.
Very troubled women nowadays that are everywhere now with a rotten personality to go along with it. Very difficult for many of us men trying to start a conversation with a woman that we would really like to meet since most of these women are so very extremely dangerous nowadays.
And there are many of us good men that would really know how to treat a good woman with a lot of love and respect which they just don't give us men a chance at all which very much explains why many of us men are still single today.
Women are quite different today from the past since most of the women years ago were the very complete opposite of what these women are today since most of them now are just so very horrible to meet now altogether. I am very shocked how the women of today really are now especially with all of these reality TV shows that they have on as well as social media that has really corrupted many of the women of today since it is all about them now as well unfortunately.
It is very obvious to me that many of us men are just too good for these type of women anyway since many of us men have been hurt very badly already at one time having our wife cheating on us. And many of us men were the very faithful ones from the very beginning to the very end when we were married at one time. I am so serious when I ask this question: where in the world are you and obviously many others who've posted here finding these horrible women that you describe?
Seriously, where? I know there are some bad choices for women, as well as there are for men. I realize that I am from a much earlier generation but even the younger women that I know, just don't behave in this manner. But you mention these women as if that is all you're finding out there. That is startling to me.
I seriously hope you answer the question. BTW, thanks for the comment. Thank you for your comment. I hope it's not lost in the heaping pile of the other comments.
Your tone and words is greatly appreciated. Most of the men posting here consider themselves good, polite men, but at the same time consider interacting with women a business transaction. So your goodness is merely a mask to your desire to get a 'good deal' basically using a woman.
Humans use tools to achieve an end. Men expect women to be tools, like hammers. We are not. We are warm, loving, and passionate and loyal to a man that we can get behind.
A relationship is a type of SHIP. It's a team effort to achieve a shared vision of life. It's more than the tit for tat that people see in today's expectations. Feminism is not same great evil that is receiving its comeuppances.
Women enjoying themselves and basking in freedoms that their grandmothers never conceived of is not the end of humanity. It shouldn't be. Also under the impression that 'evil women' is just another vague 'they' accusation.
There might be changes underfoot in dating, successful women might be choosy, individual nice guys might experience rejection that they don't underweand- but 'they' or evil women are probably not the sole cause.
As individuals, we are each the authors of our own reality. For all of us who failed to secure a faithful partner or even a fulfilling dating, we just have to accept responsibility for our state.
Opinion why bother dating anymore matchless theme, pleasant
Nobody else is to blame. I'm not sure I understand what you mean by, what do women do in dating. Do you mean what is our responsibility on the date? If that is, in fact, what you mean, equally, it's both the man and woman's responsibility to get to know the other person while on the date. Are you asking what is it that she takes the lead on? If so, men in my opinion and how I was taught and raised are supposed to lead. Again, not sure if I understand your question.
See of remaining comments. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages and Hubbers authors may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others. HubPages Inc, a part of Maven Inc. As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, pairedlife.
Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so. Elaine Flowers more. Here is a countdown of things men don't bother with anymore:. Why Don't They? M39, Regards from Finland. Men aren't being lazy or scared - we've gotten smarter. You obviously got it right, sis. Look at all these men crying in the comments lol. I used to do all the things on this list.
It's probably why I've been single all these years. Stupid, outdated, double standards that should have died out thirty years ago. Men don't ask in advance anymore. The s? How dare he think he can buy your love! Men Don't Buy Drinks Anymore Given the constant add bombardment that he will give you a roofie, is it any wonder that men don't want to be blamed for your poor choices?
Men Don't Make Phone Calls. Sweetie, only OLD people like me make phone calls, or calls to emergency services. RubyRedRR "A lot of them won't even talk to women, much less ask us out. If you're expecting him to do all those things you're going to be disappointed.
A lot of them won't even talk to women, much less ask us out. My campus is starting to look like it's an all girl school. From this site He won't leave 7. He invites you to meet his parents on the first three dates- 9. He tells you he loves you before your third date One of his hands is always in his pocket. Therefore women can no longer cherry pick or expect men to play by traditional rules. I find that women are more open to "hanging out" than a serious date.
I agree here, I don't fall in this trend however. Not really the dancing type. I think both men and women could improve here. Refer to Maybe we do2 not care where we go. Maybe we just want to make you happy. What is this the 50s? Refer to 6 4. You have a job, right? You can dial a phone right? Why bother. I can easily find a date for the night, then never see her again. JJ, One this is for sure, something different needs to be done when it comes to men and women getting together.
As a guy I'm expected to be the one who asks I'd rather go to the dentist for an unneeded root canal All for the privilege of being interviewed like a candidate for a job with way way way too many applications. Any man with self respect will quickly decide this just isn't worth it. It actually women who date less but still have a multitude of sexual partner's.
I've been trying to meet a decent guy for 4 years now since becoming a widow in Honestly I was quite surprised when I realized how difficult this would be.
So my plan is to stay single for a longlong time. Good luck everyone!!! I don't get this one at all. Neither do women. Elaine, Down in the thread you denied that women can be sexist just as blacks cannot be racists.
Here is the REAL definition of racist: noun 1. Why is this so hard for a woman's brain to understand? Jamie, You are the biggest mangina in this thread. Believe me, once we get you, we will have our own work to put in. Elaine Flowers, They don't make the type of man you are describing anymore. It's called old school with class, such as High quality; admirable style; cachet I would go back with you but we can't so we just have to make the best with the present and then who knows what future brings?
Good question, actually. I'm pretty sure I would. Good Lord, you are needy af. Would you even date someone like you? Mar, I'm sorry that's how you feel. Jack, This is an interesting perspective so thanks for sharing it. Hey Steve, Here's my very humble opinion: even when women make the first move, eventually they lose respect.
Elaine, Hmm, waiting to be asked out again or do it myself? Forgot to mention I'm in the UK. Siv Ingrid, Its certainly not all or nothing. Ive always liked buying gifts for my boyfriends. Things dont have to be expensive or one sided. Thanks for the comment, Steve! Paul, I believe what you're saying, but it's so hard.
Siv Ingrid, You certainly make several good points.
I am all about showing effort, it does not have to be extravagant. Is it not give and take? As to bringing a flower or whatever, he says ha, ha forget it. I think ladies that due to some they have ruined it for most of us. Take care. Thanks so much for your comment, Nina! Catrina, this stuff is part of the reason I am single so much.
Great article Elaine! Dear JCN, Thank you so much for your post. Thanks for the article, it was interesting, and did get me rambling! Case-in-point: Men don't buy drinks for women because women use men for free drinks. Thanks for the comment, Simon. Don, Thanks for the comment.
Men can't have women act as the women of generations ago.